


Broken Mirrors

by litra



Series: Broken Mirrors Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death Fix, Dean and Cas are in purgatory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Leviathans, M/M, leviathan goo, possible dub con if you count emotional distress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:42:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1450660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel has been stuck in that DVD the whole time and it isn’t until Sam watches through to the end that he escapes. Only by then Sam is all alone, with Dean and Cas fallen victim to exploding Dick, He breaks down. Gabriel knows about loss, and knows that being alone is one of the worst things in the world when you really need a shoulder to cry on.  Healing is rarely easy and never fast. </p><p>Written for the Gabriel Big Bang 2014</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> The hurt comfort tag is there For A Reason! Seriously if that hits your buttons don't go any farther. Same goes for the rating. 
> 
> Also:  
> This is the first time I've written hurt/comfort... or porn... or Gabriel/Sam (even though it's a favorite pairing of mine)... or romance in general...  
> Yeah...
> 
> The Wonderful captain_d_leet did an amazing 7 pieces of art to accompany this fic witch are totally worth checking out:  
> [Title](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/BROKEN-MIRRORS-Gabriel-Big-Bang-2014-446855357)  
> [Boxes](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-sad-scene-446857269)  
> [Motel Room](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-motel-room-446860374)  
> [Sabriel](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-Sabriel-446859771)  
> [Hug](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-hug-446859068)  
> [Couch](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-Couch-446858611)  
> [Gabriel](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-Gabriel-446858100)  
> [](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Mirrors-sad-scene-446857269)  
> 

  
[BROKEN MIRRORS (Gabriel Big Bang 2014)](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/art/BROKEN-MIRRORS-Gabriel-Big-Bang-2014-446855357) by [Captain-D-Leet](http://captain-d-leet.deviantart.com/) on [deviantART](http://www.deviantart.com)

 

 

It had been years since Dean had last played the DVD, although Gabriel didn’t realize it until someone hit play. Time can be funny when you’re stuck in a video loop. Still it had been the best he could come up with on such short notice and he couldn’t really complain. a few years was next to nothing when compared to the centuries he had spent in hiding.

Gabriel honestly thought Dean would be the one to let him out. It seemed like Sam was still holding a bit of a grudge, or he had been when they had parted. But when someone hit play and ran through the message about putting Lucy back in his box… and then actually let the DVD keep going, it was the younger Winchester.

Not that he was actually watching. When he had first picked the disk out of the box it had been tossed into he had seemed confused, if anything. Mostly Gabriel was just getting a vibe of numb shock. Then there had been the flash of recognition when Gabriel made his grand onscreen appearance, and that was it. He had left the bad porn running while he stood, definitely in shock, and moved on to the next box.

It was definitely bad porn. After living in an hour and a half loop of it for the past several years he could say that for certain, no matter what anyone else said.

So Gabriel waited. He waited for some sign that this wasn’t a trap, for some signal that this wasn’t just another version of hell on earth. Lucifer clearly wasn’t in Sam, he would have been able to tell, but without Dean there Gabriel had no clue if he wasn’t carting Michael around.

Sam downed half a bottle of scotch while he waited. Gabriel could practically see the cracks.

In the last minutes of the video, Gabriel summoned his grace and stepped out of his self made prison.

They were in a cabin, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. One of the safehouses the boys had access to. There were symbols on the walls and windows. The normal array of demon traps and angel blinders. They weren’t new, and some of them were broken, and hadn’t been repainted. As it was the place wouldn’t hide Sam from anyone who was really looking, and wouldn’t protect him from more than the foot soldiers on either side.  

As far as the furnishings went it was what you could expect: old but serviceable. A couch that had been slept on more times then it should have been, comfortable, but in no way fashionable. Empty bottles littering the table and gathered up by the back door. The one unexpected addition were the boxes.

For people who lived their lives on the road, the Winchester brothers had managed to collect a surprising amount of crap. Sam was on the couch, his back to Gabriel, sorting through one of the boxes. It was only as he picked out the worn out leather jacket and set it aside separate from the piles of Busty Asian Beauty magazines and the collection of shotgun shells that Gabriel realized; Sam wasn’t going through his own things. All the boxes around him contained Dean’s worldly possessions.

And there were tears slipping silent from Sam’s eyes.

He didn’t even seem to notice, just took another swig straight from the bottle and moved on to the collection of cell phones.  

“Oh, Sam.” Gabriel’s voice was quiet, but Sam was still a hunter above all and he spun, suddenly on his feet, that familiar demon killing blade suddenly in his hand. He stared at Gabriel for a moment, the only sound coming from the credits of the porn still playing on the laptop sitting open on the kitchen table. Then Sam’s shoulders slumped. He looked at the laptop, then at the bottle still in his hand. He let out a short humorless laugh and slugged back another swallow.

“Sam?”

“Don’t.” Sam slumped down onto the couch. He let the knife fall onto the cushions beside him. The bottle got more respect as it was set solidly on the table. Sam rubbed at a new scar on his hand, an unconscious gesture. “Am I supposed to be grateful you’re not Lucifer? Just don’t, okay? I can’t.”

Gabriel might have been tempted to make a joke, to snap out a quick comeback but he knew that look. Hell, he had invented that look. It had been front and center when he’d lost his brothers the first time around, Lucifer to his misguided love and Michael to his righteous anger. He’d run away then, all the way out of heaven. Sam was running too, into a bottle, but that wouldn’t last him nearly as long.

Gabriel didn’t really want to ask but, it was kind of mandatory “Where’s Dean?” If there was anyone who could send Sam into this level of downward spiral it was his brother. Gabriel knew it from experience.

“Why don’t you tell me?” He grabbed up the bottle again and took another swig. “Isn’t that why you’re here, to taunt me?” His eyes would have been hard but the effect was ruined by the tears that Sam still hadn’t noticed.

Gabriel couldn’t help the mocking smile. He knew what Sam was expecting in that moment and acting out of character would have put Sam even more on guard. He needed something familiar, something he could recognize as normal and hold onto, in the midst of whatever loss he was experiencing. “Of course Sam, why else would I be here?”

Sam snorted and turned away.

Gabriel let him. He didn’t understand the situation yet and until he did he couldn’t really do or say anything. The universe was already pushing at him. He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms extending his senses.  

The first thing he noticed was that he was utterly cut off. All his old spells to access the power of Loki had faded with his death and with no tricks being played to reinforce his place in the cosmic stage. Same went for the power of heaven. He still had his grace but without access to all the prayers sent to his archangel persona that energy would slowly get used up and he would fall. When he’d left heaven he’d tied that power to his sword, which he didn’t have any more thanks to Lucy. He could reestablish the connection but it would take a while if he wanted to stay hidden in the mean time.

It sounded worse than it was. He had a wellspring of power in reserve, more than enough to last him the year or so he would need. He’d just have to keep an eye on his power levels. He stretched out a bit more and spent the smallest touch of power to tug on the threads of reality, pulling in information.

The Apocalypse hadn’t gone down, that was good, and given the number of angels and demons running around the fighting had died down as well, at least on that front. The planet was showing new scars, tears in reality that hadn’t been there before. Footsteps of monsters that hadn’t been seen in millennia were fresh in the earth, and even more terrifying, the tar pit stench of Purgatory was thick in the air. The Leviathan were free.

Gabriel had never seen the creatures, but he was of the First Chorus and old enough to know the threat.

Looking deeper brought him up short. They should have been flourishing. There was practically nothing that could kill them after all. Instead they were on the run, going to ground. Yet another miracle the Winchesters had pulled out of nowhere.

And maybe the reason for the Sasquatch's current attempt at self-punishment.

On the couch, Sam tossed the now empty box on the floor and emptied the last mouthful from his bottle. He looked at the bottle then at the box, and then swept his gaze over the other boxes in the room. Gabriel let one eyebrow rise as Sam’s eyes flickered over him before looking away.

Sam pushed himself to his feet again, lumbering around the couch. He managed to make it to the kitchen alcove without falling on his face but it was clear he’d had enough to drink. He rummaged in the cabinets, eventually coming up with a half empty bottle of vodka. He held it up measuring how much it held with his eyes, while trying not to overbalance. Eventually he turned and headed back to the couch, pawing at the cap as he went. He was like some great big teddy bear, a completely sloshed teddy bear, but that didn’t stop Gabriel from wanting to hug him.

Sam slumped back onto the couch, finally getting the cap off the bottle and Gabriel snapped his fingers. After the first swallow Sam glared at the bottle, well more like squinted, it was the thought that counted. He glanced sideways at Gabriel, then straightened his shoulders and went back to ignoring him. The second swallow proved the same as the first, and the third. His shoulders started to droop again.

Sam twisted the cap back onto the bottle and left it on the couch as he stormed back to the cupboard. He pulled out a new bottle, this one unopened and full of dark amber liquid. Before Sam could get it open Gabriel snapped his fingers again and the liquid turned clear.

“Sorry Sam-a-lam, I’m cutting you off. Stick with water, trust me.”

“Fuck you.”

Gabriel grinned. “Well if you insist, but I doubt you could keep it up after all you’ve had. Better drink some more of that water.”

Sam abandoned the unopened bottle on the counter and retreated back to the couch. This time Gabriel followed, settling in on the other end of the couch so the hunter would still have his space.

“So mind if I ask you a question?” Sam ignored him, so Gabriel barreled on. “Why put in the disk. You’re clearly not looking for a good time, so…” He nodded at the now silent computer, as if Sam wouldn’t be able to figure out what he meant without assistance.

He didn’t answer, just kept on doing his best to stonewall the angel. Gabriel eventually shrugged and went back to tuning himself back into the universe.

Sam seemed to have run out of things to occupy himself with. He picked up a couple magazines off the stack and started sorting them by date, occasionally glancing at Gabriel, as if waiting for him to do something.

After a good half hour of silence, the angel gave him a questioning look. Sam huffed and turned away. He looked exhausted, worn down to the end of his rope and all those other metaphors.

“You should get some sleep.”

Sam just curled into himself a bit tighter.

“Fine. It’s not as if I don’t know how stubborn you Winchesters can be.”

Oddly enough that made Sam’s shoulders ease a fraction. Gabriel leaned over and laid a hand on his back. Sam tensed up again, but as Gabriel waited, unmoving, he once more relaxed. With a light, slow touch, he eased his grace into the hunter relaxing tensed muscles and easing the haze of alcohol, softening the touch of the world until he eased off to sleep without Gabriel even needing to push him too hard in that direction.

  


Gabriel expected the nightmares. There was no way anyone could survive Sam’s life and not come out with a few horror stories. He was about to brush them away, but the contents were new. A woman who stole his mothers face. Cas, gone mad, than dead, and Lucifer free in his mind to torment him. Shape shifting monsters that bleed black goo and wouldn’t stay dead. Bobby, gone. Cas somehow back but not, and that final Black explosion that didn’t even leave him a body to bury. Gabriel lay filters over them, making it clear even to Sam’s sleeping mind that they were nothing to fear.

When Sam whimpered in his sleep, the tears threatening again, Gabriel pulled him closer, offering what comfort he could through touch. When he finally settled, Sam slept like the dead.

The hunter didn’t start to stir until mid-afternoon the next day, by which point Gabriel had run out of patience. There were eggs in the fridge and syrup So the angel had started cooking. Snapping his fingers whenever he needed something he didn’t have.

When Sam rolled over and pulled himself up to look over the back of the couch the kitchen table was covered in heaping plates of chocolate chip pancakes, Strawberry waffles, southwest style hash browns, cheese grits, oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins, and three different types of bacon.

“How do you like your eggs?” Gabriel called over his shoulder.

Sam had to blink several times as he tried to restart his brain. Gabriel was wearing a frilly yellow apron with a big sunflower on the front, it had lace.

Sam flopped down, and turned his head enough to see the bottle on the table. One of the bottles there wasn’t empty. Sam snatched at it and opened the lid. It didn’t smell like alcohol.

“This is water.” He said to the room at large.

“Of course it is. Did you think I was going to change it back? How’s your head, better? You’re getting an omelet by the way, how do you feel about spinach and mushrooms? That sounds like something you’d eat.”

“You’re dead. Gabriel is dead, you’re just a hallucination.”

“Believe whatever you want Sasquatch, but come over here and eat something while you figure it all out.”

Sam turned and stared at the angel as he set the last few plates on the table. Gabriel ignored him, tossing the frilly apron over the back of a chair and starting to fill his own plate with as much as it could hold.

The hunter’s stomach growled. After careful consideration he stood and went to join the angel. He didn’t touch the food, not yet, just watching the angel tuck in. When his stomach protested again, Gabriel shoved the omelet in his direction. His own mouth was full of banana nut muffin, which Sam was sure hadn’t been on the table when he’d sat down.

“Well, if you’re a hallucination you’re at least nicer than my last one.”

“Yeah, Lucy can be a pain like that, but no, not a hallucination.” Gabriel never stopped eating but his words never sounded garbled.

Sam looked down at his omelet. He was hungry. If it was a hallucination it wouldn’t change that and if it was real then, well, better not to waste food. He picked up his fork. The omelet was just as good as it looked, and it was gone before Sam even really had a chance to appreciate it, luckily there was plenty more. Gabriel pushed the stack of waffles in his direction as soon as his plate was empty and for once Sam chose to indulge.

Neither of them spoke until the food was gone and they were leaning back with the kind of full stomachs that normally came after a large family dinner.

“Oh, Father, I missed that.”

Sam glanced up.

“No food in that DVD.” Gabriel explained. “Except I did manage to twist one scene around enough to dribble chocolate sauce over--”

“I don’t want to know.” Sam held up his hands as a blush crept over his ears.

Gabriel smirked. “What about you? From the way you were tucking in I’d think you hadn’t eaten a decent meal in weeks.”

“I haven’t.” His voice was soft, and he was looking down at his hands as if he wasn’t really seeing them.

“Okay, you’re going to have to give me a bit more then that kiddo. I’m not a mind reader, well I am, but I don’t think you’d appreciate me poking around in your noggin. Not to say I won’t if I have to but.”

“The Leviathan poisoned the food. A new drug in the corn syrup.” Sam said, rolling his eyes and sitting back again. “It’s probably still happening. We killed Dick but… You didn’t use any pre-processed stuff in that did you?”

“Nope, your cupboards were pretty bare so most of it I just.” He snapped his fingers and the dishes vanished, reappearing washed and rinsed in the dish drainer.

“Okay.” The hunter paused, and slowly worked his way through his memories of the night before. “Wait, so you were in that,” he waved a hand at the computer. “This whole time?”

“Well, neither of you blockheads bothered to watch it all the way through.”

“You expected us to?”

“What, am I not sexy enough for you Sasquatch? I’m hurt. But no it was more of a necessary safeguard for reasons of cosmic probability that would go way over your head.”

Sam looked at the angel. He spent a minute biting at his lower lip in indecision, then asked. “If you’re really here, then why are you still, _here_?” He waved a hand at the cabin around them.

“Because the universe still thinks I’m dead. If Kali knew I was alive she’d be pissed. Not to mention what the host would do if they found out. I’ve been hiding from them for centuries, no idea what they’d try to do. So right now I’m walking a balance beam. Can’t use too much power or I’ll attract attention.  Luckily I’m both trickster and archangel and the universe is not sure which persona died so I can plug myself into the other one until I find the right cheat code to buffer my power.”

“The universe has cheat codes?”

“You’d be surprised. Dad actually had quite the sense of humor if you know how to recognize it.” Sam lifted one eyebrow. “Platypus, I’m just saying. I also figured that if anyone knew where all the major players stood at the moment it’d be you. I assume my plan worked?”

Sam nodded. Gabriel made a gesture to keep going. The hunter hesitated again, and then started talking. He kept it pretty bare bones at first but even then there was a lot to tell. After a while he started opening up, going into more depth. It took hours. They moved to the couch at one point. When Sam’s voice started to go out, Gabriel snapped up cups of hot chocolate and ginger cookies. Eventually Sam brought his story around to the present, his words trailing off to silence.

Gabriel waited until he was sure Sam was finished, then he set his mug down on the coffee table and let himself slump sideways until he was leaning against the hunter. He looked up the length of Sam’s chest. Sam had twisted sideways at some point so he was leaning back against the arm of the chair, with his head leaning against the back.

“You have a terrible life. I know you probably hate me after everything I’ve put you through, but dear Father I had no idea that you attracted that much trouble.”

“I don’t actually hate you.”

“Oh, really?”

“You had your reasons. I get that, and I know how crazy family can make you.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that one.” Gabriel rolled over so he was lying across Sam’s stomach and propped his head up on his hands. “So what now?”

Sam’s face fell again as he looked around at the various boxes. That haunted look came back into his eyes. “Dean’s dead.” His voice was hollow, and it was all Gabriel could do to think, I’m losing him.

“Hey, Look at me.” He pulled Sam’s face around to look down at him. “Maybe. Okay? Maybe dead.”

Sam blinked actively trying to push back the tears, which was at least progress.

“Was there a body? Did you see a body?”

Sam hesitated then shook his head.

“And Cas? Was there a body for him? Any wings burned onto the surroundings?”

Again a shake of the head.

“Then let me say this. I know exactly how fragile humans are. I know hundreds of thousands of ways for you to die, but cleaning up the mess it makes? That’s hard, well, more annoying and sticky not to mention tedious, but it wasn’t like you closed your eyes, plugged your ears and waited for them to get on with it. Dick exploded, he wasn’t doing much plotting by that point and there’s just no reason for Crowley to do it, so where are the bodies? Plus am I the only one to notice how hard it is to actually kill the two of you? Even when you didn’t have a pair of angels looking over your shoulders, you managed to get out of more near death scrapes than anyone I’ve ever met, and I’ve been alive for centuries.” Gabriel shrugged. “Maybe you’re right, maybe they are dead. Or maybe the explosion did something and the two of them just haven't resurfaced yet. I’d put at least even money on it at this point.”

Sam pulled his face away reaching for the bottle on the table. Gabriel let him, the bottle was still full of water after all.

“Cas’ll look after your brother. He’d do anything for him.”

Sam took a swallow from the bottle, realized it was water and decided not to complain. He was telegraphing his emotions, riding the edge of his skin as if he was barely holding on. As if this was only a momentary reprieve and when Gabriel left he’d crawl back into a bottle or possibly start walking and just not stop. If he did that then Gabriel wasn’t sure he’d come out of it. He might stabilize somewhere along the line but he was too broken to try putting himself back together without help.

“So, no plans then?” Gabriel was enjoying lying on the sasquatch's broad chest but Sam needed something to take his mind off Dean. He pushed himself up and folded his legs looking at the hunter.

There were at least half a dozen angles he could try here. He could snap up more food, since it was closer to dinner time now. He could tell Sam to get some sleep, or just zap him to sleep, because Dad knew the hunter could use the rest. He could leave; he didn’t want to but there were things he would need to check up on and only time would really help. That was his angel side though, his trickster side was jonezing to mess with Sam.

He wanted to snap his fingers and plop them down on the top of a roller coaster. He wanted to drop Sam into a Salvador Dali painting; maybe a whole host of paintings until he learned that being sad would only make him melt. He might have gone with one of those really sappy teenage romances until Sam got as fed up with his attitude as the rest of them, but there was already a book series about the Winchesters and Gabe didn’t like repeat performances. He was tempted to turn Sam into a life size wind up toy, just so he could wind him back up. Or maybe he’d create a little cloud over Sam’s head that wouldn’t stop raining on him until he got a clue.

Gabriel had to remind himself that pissing the Winchester off might get him back on his feet but wouldn’t actually make him happy. This would need more thought.

Gabriel tended to think better if he was moving so he headed for the kitchen. Sam would want something simple and while he could have zapped up a six course meal Gabriel chose to do things the old fashioned way. He baked a chicken in lemon juice, roasted some red potatoes with butter and rosemary, and steamed green beans, pondering the problem all the while.

Sam started watching him at one point, rolling over and propping his chin and one arm up on the back of the couch. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

Gabriel paused in the act of checking on the chicken. “You pick up a few things after a couple thousand years on earth. Just because I like sweet things, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate savory. You going to come help me eat this?”

At first Sam didn’t move, his face a blank emotionless canvas, then Gabriel wafted the smells in his direction and his stomach growled. Gabriel gave him a pointed look. Sam looked away.

“If you don’t come over here, I will snap you into a highchair and make train noises until you eat.”

That earned Gabriel a full on incredulous glare, as Sam pushed himself off the couch. Progress!

The light was starting to fade. Sam picked at his food, and Gabriel refused to let him leave until the angel was satisfied that Sam had eaten a full meal. About half way through Gabriel snapped a few candles onto the table. The electricity seemed to be spotty and most of the light in the kitchen had come from the windows in any case. There was a fireplace, but it had long since burned low without anyone attending to it.  

Gabriel considered and after a moment snapped it back to life. He didn’t feel the cold, but Sam did, and he honestly wasn’t sure if Sam would bother taking care of himself enough to realize he was cold and act on it.

Sam speared a potato, looked at it, and then dutifully took a bite. His skin had a healthier glow in the light of the candles and the fire. It made Gabriel smile until he noticed the state of Sam’s hair. It was ratty, clearly left unwashed for days and sections had become tangled, stuck together with blood, black tar, or dried out from some kind of chemical, not to mention smelling of alcohol from the night before. It wasn’t right. Sam took care of his hair, Dean would have never let him keep it so long if he didn’t and even aside from that Sam was a professional.

Gabriel stood. He could have just snapped Sam’s hair clean, Hell, he could have snapped Sam’s hair into a purple mohawk if he wanted but something made him circle the table instead. Sam looked up at him as Gabriel ran a hand across his forehead, gathering up his bangs and drawing them aside. He let the strands flow through his fingers, cleaning Sam’s hair with light touches, until it fell naturally around his face once more.

Gabriel paused looking down at Sam as he considered his work. Sam’s eyes were wide as he looked back, something like surprise or awe in his features. Then Gabriel smiled and snapped his fingers, causing a sky blue ribbon to appear in his hand. Sam’s hair was just long enough to tie back at the nape of his neck. The angel nodded, satisfied with his work. He bent, kissed Sam’s forehead and turned to go back to his seat.

Gabriel had his fork in his mouth, before he realized Sam was staring. “What?”

Sam quickly looked down again, pushing his green beans around on his plate. Gabriel considered the hunter, trying to see things from his point of view. He considered reading Sam’s mind again but brushed the thought away.

It wasn’t like he didn’t realize what this looked like. He wasn’t oblivious like most of his siblings. Gabriel might have been indulging himself, he just hadn’t thought Sam would notice. Even if the hunter did notice, Gabriel hadn’t thought he would think anything of it. It wasn’t like the angel had been too obvious, had he?  

After several silent minutes Sam reached up tucking a lock of his bangs back behind his ear. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

The silence stretched again. Sam finished his chicken. Gabriel snapped up ice cream and half a dozen toppings. He offered some to Sam but the hunter shook his head.

“You’re different.” Sam said as Gabriel drowned the ice cream in caramel sauce and mini-marshmallows.

“I am?”

Sam opened his mouth, trying to find the right words, then closed it again. He started to run a hand through his hair, but stopped, not wanting to disturb Gabriel’s work.  “Before you’ve always been…” He shrugged.

“Yeah, well, the last couple time’s we’ve met I was kind of freaking out about my brothers doing something crazy. I’d think you could relate.” The last was said in a wry mocking tone that invited Sam to join in the joke. The breath Sam wheezed out wasn’t really a laugh, but it was another step in the right direction.

“I guess that’s no longer a problem for either of us.” It seemed to take a moment for Sam to realize what he’d said, then his face fell and any progress Gabriel had goaded him into making was canceled out. Sam hunched in on himself again, the turn of his shoulders unconsciously becoming defensive. Gabriel thought he heard the hunter mutter out a pained “Dean.” Before Sam was pushing himself away from the table, hands balled into fists and his eyes once more shining with unshed tears.

Gabriel abandoned his ice-cream to follow the hunter. He caught at Sam’s arm and spun him around. The angel didn’t know what he should say, what he even could say. He knew that pain and it wasn’t just going to be brushed off.

“I know.” It was a whisper as he reached up, brushing a hand over Sam’s cheek, as the first few tears threatened to fall. “I know.”

Sam leaned into the touch, letting the tears fall as the tension leached out of him. It was like the hunter had been packed full of sand and now it was slowly draining out of him. The angel didn’t hesitate to tap into his supernatural strength in order to guide Sam down onto the couch. He stayed close, murmuring quiet sounds that never really turned into words. The only strength Sam seemed to have was in the tips of his fingers as he held on, clutching at Gabriel’s shirt.

“Stay.” Sam pleaded. “Don’t leave me. Don’t, please.” his voice was ragged, breaking on the almost prayer.

Gabriel was already close. His hand, which had been supporting Sam’s shoulder, came up to brush the hunter’s tears away.

“Shh, I’m not going anywhere.” Gabriel frowned at the lumpy bag of fluff at the end of the couch and decided to snap up a proper pillow, guiding Sam’s head down to rest against the arm of the couch. With gentle but firm touches, Gabriel guided Sam to lie down fully on his back. When the couch wasn’t long enough for Sam’s gigantor frame, he snapped it longer. When he tried to move down to unlace Sam’s boots and the hunter’s grip tightened at the back of his neck, he snapped them off instead. When Sam still wouldn’t let go and fully relax Gabriel brought up a hand, two fingers aiming at the hunter’s forehead.

“No.” Sam’s voice was barely above a whisper, but Gabriel drew back and waited. “I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to dream. I don’t want to wake up and be alone again. Please, I-”

Gabriel leaned forward, again letting his lips brush Sam’s forehead. “I’m not leaving.” His voice was soft as he muttered against Sam’s hair. “But you need rest. You’re worn down Sasquatch.”

“Not yet.” Sam breathed. He was pulling at Gabriel’s shirt now. The angels face drifted down, until their eyes were on a level and they could feel each other’s breath.

Gabriel knew he should pull away, even if he didn’t want to. Sam needed him to be strong. The hunter needed someone to take care of him not take advantage when he was riding the knife edge of loss and pain. Before he could move though, Sam was leaning up and pressing his lips to Gabriel’s.

It was clumsy at first because Gabriel froze stone still, inhumanly solid. Sam’s lips pressed against his own were dry, chapped, but insistent. Gabriel took in a slow breath through his nose and Sam breathed out a sound that would have been a whimper if it wasn’t cut off.

Sam pulled away, letting his head fall back onto the pillow as his eyes squeezed shut.

Gabriel’s eyes were wide, looking down at the man he was practically kneeling over. As an archangel he wanted to ease the pain from Sam’s expression. He wanted to brush away the dark circles under his eyes and all the fatigue that had caused them. He wanted to show the hunter that he wasn’t alone, that he would never be alone again. As a trickster he just wanted.

The angel let himself sink down until his lips met Sam’s this time in a real kiss. It must have looked like he was some prince in a fairy tale from their positions, but when Sam responded, opening his eyes, Gabriel didn’t care. It wasn’t like there was anyone to see them in any case.

Gabriel tried to go slow, tried not to overstep whatever new bounds had been established when he wasn’t looking. Sam wasn’t having it. He whined into Gabriel’s mouth, one large hand coming up to pull at Gabriel’s shirt again, nearly dragging the smaller figure up onto his chest. The archangel could feel the hunter’s solid frame, the increasing rate of his heart, the raw heat pouring off him.

It was more than anyone could have resisted, and while Gabriel may have been an archangel, he was no saint.

Gabriel slid his tongue into Sam’s mouth, playing with his lower lip and tracing the smooth curve of his teeth. Sam breathed out a sound, but Gabriel didn’t hear it, swallowing it instead. Suddenly the feel of Sam’s shirt was one of the most interesting sensations in the world; and it really wouldn’t be fair if Sam got to hike up his shirt like that and he couldn’t do the same.

Sam’s stomach was like a furnace under his fingers. His muscles quivered under his skin as if lightning was dancing through him. Gabriel wanted to moan at the feel of them under his hands, but he fought it back gasping and letting his head fall into the crook of Sam’s neck. That really wasn’t any better. The smell of the hunter was intoxicating, and Gabriel found himself mouthing his way along his collarbone.

Sam’s hands had come up at some point, one sliding under Gabriel’s shirt, mapping the lines of his back, the other holding onto his hip with a death grip, fingers tangled in his belt-loops. Sam was desperate, not necessarily for sex, but for touch. For the knowledge that someone was there and willing, wanted even, to be close to him. Growing up, he’d never had the simple comfort of hugs. A slap on the shoulder and a smile was usually as close as it got. He’d been starved of touch all his life, and apparently he’d finally found his breaking point.

The archangel didn’t complain at the strength of Sam’s arms as they came up to wrap around him. He didn’t comment on the way the hunter was shaking, the tension finally breaking over spent muscles, leaving them loose and trembling.  

Gabriel moaned at the strength wrapped around him. For once Sam wasn’t thinking about controlling himself, and if anyone could handle being manhandled by Sam it was the archangel. Gabriel wasn’t conscious of the way he was mouthing at Sam’s neck or the way his hips were grinding down into Sam’s hip, but Sam noticed.

“G-Gabriel.”

The sound of his name in that breathy tone nearly made him give it up right there on the spot. It wasn’t like the angel was at the end of a dry spell or anything. The porn might not have been real, but it was still sex. It should have been Sam riding the edge. Gabriel doubted the hunter had gotten any in a while. Sam was hard, he could feel it, but the hunter’s movements were slow, languid almost dreamlike.

Gabriel let his head drop to Sam’s shoulder, nose brushing collarbone.  He was too close to his skin, feeling everything too much after so long as only a wavelength of energy. It didn’t help that the universe was pushing at him to use his power, declare himself, take what was his.

“Sammy?”

Sam didn’t answer, just burying his face in Gabriel’s hair, pulling the angel down against him. His hand slid south until it was cupping Gabriel’s ass. One of Gabe’s hands snaked down between them finding the line of someone’s jeans and he honestly didn’t know who's at this point. Not that it mattered. He pulled at the button, the zipper, rocking into Sam’s hip. His hand found soft threadbare cotton, and it was Sam’s turn to moan.

Gabriel swallowed thick in his throat and forced a level of detachment. His hand was around Sam’s cock, stroking in a strong steady rhythm. The hunter’s eyes were closed, his mouth open, and he was the single most glorious human Gabriel had ever seen. A shimmering soul that was made all the brighter by the dark contrast of his history.

Gabriel didn’t deserve Sam, hadn’t earned this, any of it. He leaned forward, laying a kiss over Sam’s heart, then another, chaste, at the corner of his mouth. His hand sped up a notch. Sam snatched in a breath. One of his hands moved up until it was tangled in the hair at the base of Gabriel’s neck. He came, spilling over Gabriel’s hand. Sam’s limbs loosened until the wire in them turned to cotton.

“Sleep” Gabriel whispered into Sam’s neck.

The hunter mumbled something back but he was soon breathing deep and even. Gabriel used a touch of power to make sure Sam wouldn’t wake up and wouldn’t dream, before extricating himself. He was still uncomfortably hard, but separating himself from his host another degree or two would quickly deal with the problem.

He moved across the room mindlessly, sinking into the chair Sam had sat in for dinner.

That shouldn’t have happened.

Dear Father he was getting stupid, stupid and sentimental. The chorus was calling to him and the wild chaos energy of the pagans was calling to him and to distract himself he was fooling around with….

With Sam.

Fuck, he hadn’t thought …

He should have known better then to come out of that stupid disk. Gabriel propped his elbows on the table and let his head fall forward into his hands. Rubbing at his eyes he tried to block out the noise.

…

A hand settled hesitantly on his shoulder, and Gabriel looked up at Sam’s slightly rumpled form. “Hey, kiddo, what are you doing up?” He tried to force some cheer into his voice.

“It’s after ten.” Sam said in a low tone, glancing at the clock on the stove.

Sure enough there was light pouring in through the clouded windows. He must have been out of it for nearly twelve hours. That probably wasn’t a good sign. Not that Gabriel was going to think about it, nope, the Winchesters weren’t the only ones who could be stubborn and willfully oblivious as fuck.

“Well, look at that. We missed breakfast.”

“Gabriel, are you alright?”

Gabriel was standing, stretching out his arms, and rolling his shoulders in an attempt to hide the fact that he was carefully putting distance between himself and Sam. It was better that way.

“What? Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” More false cheer, this time with a bit of mocking in the tone. “Hey, you know what we should do? We should go out. I’m tired of cooking. What time zone are we in? You know I know this great little burger place in Brooklin. It should be lunch time in New York, right?” He spun on his heel in time to catch Sam’s face fall.

Sam was back in his memories. Gabriel didn’t know if it was the mention of burgers or New York or what but he knew the haunted look in those eyes.

Father, he’d been getting so wrapped up in his own mess that he’d pushed everything Sam was dealing with to the back of his mind. How could he possibly suck at this so badly? A lot of help he was turning out to be. Still he wouldn’t be himself, whoever that was, if he admitted defeat now.

“Changed my mind. Scratch the burgers. Crapes, breakfast crepes in San Francisco, there’s this place right off the Met. You like the Met right? All that art and culture and stuff? It’ll be great.” Gabriel threw up his most winning smile as he turned to face Sam again.

Sam was still standing behind his chair. He was wearing the same clothes as before and somehow the ribbon hadn’t come undone. He looked rumpled and if Gabriel hadn’t already known he hadn’t slept in a real bed for a few days, he could have guessed.

“Ah, no. On second thought, you should get cleaned up. How long have you been wearing those clothes?” Gabriel raised a hand to snap his fingers, but hesitated. The possibilities were flashing through his mind. Colors and fabrics and textures that would slide over the hunter’s skin. Accentuating his height, those broad shoulders, his long legs, his hands.

Gabriel cut himself off. All of three minutes, was his resolve really that weak that he was back to drooling over Sam already?

He snapped his fingers, changing his own clothes instead. Something simple and comfortable that would make it look like he knew enough to buy brand name but didn’t bother to pay too much attention to trends. No one would look twice at him if he didn’t want them to.

He pointed at Sam. “Go. Shower.”

Sam gave him one of those looks, the ones he had spent endless hours cataloging during the never ending Tuesdays, then turned and obeyed. Gabriel ran a hand through his hair as he heard the water turn on. He needed to come up with a direction for Sam before the hunter started getting too perceptive. The other side of stubbornness was that if Sam made Gabriel his new project, there would be nothing the archangel could do to stop him.

On the other hand if Sam made him his project he wouldn’t be moping anymore, his trickster side pointed out. Plus having that focused attention on nothing but him would be a thrill. Would Sam watch him, mock him from a distance, and fall asleep on his shoulder like he did with his brother? Or maybe he’d want to take control, put that size and strength of his to use. Then again, maybe he’d be the touchy feely type. He already wore his heart on his sleeve. Yeah, he’d probably be the romantic type, all sweet and soft under him, with those trusting eyes and...

Fuck.

That was his trickster side baring it’s teeth again. Loki did have a reputation for a reason after all. Little wonder after spending all night quieting his grace. He knew that this balancing act couldn’t possibly last, but he hadn’t expected it to go this bone deep.

When Sam came out of the bathroom, Gabriel was running a hand through his hair his form otherwise stiff, back to staring into space.

“Gabriel, are you alright?” Sam asked again.

“I’m fine, Let’s go.” Gabriel tried for a smile, but he was still distracted, and it slowly melted off his features.

With two steps the angel crossed the gap between them, reaching up to grab Sam’s shoulder rather than poke him in the forehead. He gave a short little tug to Sam’s jacket, as if trying to get his attention. Sam stumbled a step forward, surprised by the strength, and then they were walking down a bright but chilly sidewalk. Gabriel’s hand slid down Sam’s arm until their hands laced together and Gabriel pulled the hunter forward, darting through the noisy crowd.

Sam blinked through the normal disorientation, placing landmarks and finding which way was which as he followed Gabriel the block and a half to a brightly lit little restaurant done up in yellow and white. Gabriel snapped his fingers as they entered and even though the place had been packed to bursting they found that the best table, off in a corner so they’d have the semblance of privacy but with enough room that Sam could stretch out his legs, was mysteriously free.

Gabriel didn’t even look at the menu, just ordered one of everything. And if he had to give the waitress a nudge of power so she took him seriously, well it wasn’t like he was actually controlling her or anything.

Gabriel settled in, watching his surroundings with darting glances that never seemed to stay on one thing for longer than a few seconds. He twirled his silverware between his fingers and if it wasn’t for the fact that he wasn’t talking Sam might have thought the distraction from before was gone.

“Gabriel.”

“Hmmm?” The angel picked up his spoon, licked it, and tried to get it to hang off his nose. He went cross eyed as he tried to concentrate.

“Gabriel please, talk to me.” Sam’s voice quivered nearly breaking, before he cleared his throat and pretended nothing had happened.

The Angel uncrossed his eyes, to look across the table. “‘bout what?” the spoon fell off his nose. He glared down at it.

Sam rolled his shoulders, bringing up his hands in a gesture that indicated everything around them. His expression lost that kicked puppy look in favor of annoyed exasperation. “Anything. How about why you’re still here. You’re free now right, and it’s not like you don’t have your powers or you couldn’t have zapped us across the country.”

“Told you Sam, I’m not leaving.” He waved a hand. “Cosmic Probabilities, and changes in universal constants. Got to work out all the bugs before I can do a full reboot.”

Sam responded to this with a sigh and a half-hearted glare. Then his face fell and Sam looked down at his hands, curled on the tabletop.  “I suppose we’re not talking about last night either then?”

Gabriel didn’t say anything, but that crazy angel focus came back, aimed only at Sam. Sam leaned back in his chair caught off guard by the sudden intensity. Considering how Gabriel had been acting he’d almost forgot that he wasn’t human, or at least was capable of more than just fooling around with his powers.

  


Sam was saved by the waitress arriving with plates balanced on her arms. A fruit salad was set in front of Sam, pineapple and grapes mixed in with melon slices and topped with strawberries. Gabriel got the rest of the plates, three of them with more on the way, each holding a crepe that was coated in honey, whipped cream or chocolate sauce.  

Gabriel cut the first one in half then folded one of the slices over and shoved it in his mouth in one big bite. By the time the waitress returned with more of Gabriel’s order he had finished his first and was working through his second. Sam ate for something to do with his hands, and because he didn’t know what he was going to get dragged into if Gabriel was starting the day out like this.

The first hiccup came when Gabriel was pushing aside his fifth plate. Sam looked up, but the angel just belched and started in on his next crape, this one had walnuts and bananas in honey. The bite sized chunks seemed to amuse him. By the time he’d stuffed the last bite in his mouth he was giggling, and humming a nursery rhyme under his breath.

Sam didn’t try to start up the conversation again. Gabriel continued to giggle in bursts as he made his way through the menu, his face slowly turning pink, then red like he’d been out in the sun too long. Sam fiddled with his water looking around at the other patrons and a chill crept up his spine.

The other people in the little cafe were all eating mindlessly, strangely blank expressions coating their faces. A few of them were talking but it was slow and meaningless. There were no fast-talking girls on cell phones, no businessman chatting into bluetooths, no tourists planning out their day of sightseeing.

Sam looked down at the plates that littered their small table. With hands that were suddenly shaking he reached for the packets of sugar and creamer on the table.  The Sucrocorp logo stood out in stark red on white.

Sam watched Gabriel lift his fork again, watched the thick artificially flavored cherry syrup drip back onto the plate, and lunged.

“What the Hell Sasquatch? If you wanted some you could have just asked.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Uhhhhhhhh.”

“Shit it’s already started. Don’t eat anything else. It should wear off, I think. Fuck, Okay, Gabriel can you like, heal yourself or something? I don’t know what this stuff will do to Angels, so you’ve got to tell me how you’re feeling here.”

Gabriel’s face slowly shifted into an expression of deep concentration. His lips parted slightly and a line creased between those expressive eyebrows. He opened his mouth as if to say something then hiccupped. It sent him off again, giggling like he’d just seen the funniest thing in the world.

Sam ran a hand over his face running a hand through his hair as he tried to work out what to do next. He had no resources other than what he had in his pockets, not that he hadn’t worked with less, but it would have been nice to have had the impala at least.

“It’s like you’re drunk, Gabriel I swear if you are messing with me right now.” He tried to keep his voice from shaking and mostly managed it.

“Do you want me to?” his grin was a leer and those eyebrows rolled suggestively.

“Fuck.”

“Well, if you want to.”

Sam stood up in a rush. He was sure his face was turning red. “We should get out of here.” he glanced at the angel in time to see him shrug, his hand come up two fingers poised to snap. Sam reached out and grabbed his arm. Gabriel looked up Sam’s arm as if confused as to where it had come from.

“Friends don’t let friends drink and teleport… or fly… or whatever. Just let me think a minute.”

Gabriel propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward chin on hands, watching Sam like a contented cat. Sam took a deep breath.

“Okay, Gabriel, I need you to trust me for a while. Can you do that?”

“I like the way you say my name.”

“Great.” Sam ran a hand through his hair again.

Then Gabriel reached out, tugging at his sleeve. His face had gone a rather alarming shade of yellow. “Sam?” It was shaky, almost frightened and a hell of a lot more serious than he had been moments before. “I don’t feel so good.” The angel tipped sideways and Sam immediately moved to catch him.

Holding him, Sam could tell the angel was burning up. A wracking shudder ran through the angel, leaving him limp a moment later.

“Hey is he alright?” Their waitress came up asking. Now that Sam was paying attention he could see how vacant her eyes were.

He stammered out the first excuse he could think of, trusting that she and the rest of the restaurant's patrons would be too out of it to contradict him. A moment later he was half carrying Gabriel out the door.

Out on the sidewalk he looked around again. He hadn’t been to San Francisco in a while but he did know a few relatively safe places to hole up. He didn’t bother hailing a cab, he just picked Gabriel up in a fireman’s carry and hauled him bodily the four blocks to where he knew there was a small motel a few blocks from Chinatown.

He thanked God, Chuck and Castiel, that the ID he’d grabbed while getting dressed was one of his FBI ones. The young man behind the desk rushed to hide whatever he was smoking and handed over a set of keys without any questions about the man over his shoulder.

Sam was fumbling with the door to his fourth floor room when Gabriel announced he was awake by grabbing his ass. Sam yelped and ended up tossing the angel onto the bed a little more forcefully than he’d meant to. Gabriel made a soft Oohf sound then started giggling into the pillow.

Gabriel thumped at the pillow managing to pull himself over onto his back. He looked over and spotted Sam locking the door. One hand came up and made grabby motions.

“Sam. Sam Sammy Sammy Sammich.” Sam came over taking the hand and checking Gabriel’s forehead. It was still burning up. Gabriel hiccupped again. “You’re a Sammich. Eat you, someone’s gonna --” He trailed off, and the haze over his eyes cleared slightly. His expression turned back to lost confusion.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I’m here; just tell me what you need.” Sam kept his voice soft, trying to guess at the angel’s temperature, and keep track of his pulse at the same time.

Gabriel blinked several times, his eyes briefly losing focus. “Willow, yarrow, water, I need water.”

Sam didn’t bother going all the way to the room’s small bathroom, he just grabbed his flask of holy water and brought it to Gabriel’s lips. Gabriel managed to swallow one mouthful, before he started coughing violently. Sam supported him with a hand on his shoulder and silently wished he could do more.

Gabriel spent the next two minutes alternately dry heaving and trying to suck in air. At one point he scrambled for the holy water and sipped it as if it was strong liquor. When he finally moved to recap the flask his limbs were shaking again, and while the fever had noticeably dropped, his skin was pale. His eyes fluttered closed, then forced themselves open again. Sam helped him lean back drawing the light sheet up around the angel and sitting on the edge of the bed as he fought the war with sleep.

“Talk to me?” Gabriel’s voice was barely there.

“Alright. Anything in particular you want to talk about?”

Gabriel laughed, but this time it wasn’t giddy or hysterical like before. It was a soft, tired. “I like the way you say my name.”

“So you said.”

Gabriel hummed. “No one called me Gabriel for such a long time. Loki doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” He curled in on himself pulling the blankets up around him and snuggled in closer to Sam’s side. “Talk to me?” he asked again.

The hunter found himself murmuring soothing nonsense to the sleeping angel some time later. Gabriel was still clutching the flask of holy water like a teddy bear, and he made a soft keening sound when Sam moved away. Sam hesitated, but didn’t move back towards the bed. It had already been a hell of a day and it was barely . . . he didn’t even know what the local time was. He thought Gabriel was doing better but there was no way to tell until the angel woke up and said so. After hanging out with Cas so much he and Dean were probably the planet’s only experts on angels and he still had no idea what he was doing.

Dean, the idea of his brother, dead, stabbed into him. Sam had no idea how he’d been able to put it out of his mind, how he’d managed to go all morning without reaching for a gun or a bottle. His gut clenched and he wanted to throw up what little he’d eaten. It was just luck that he’d ordered the fruit salad, no whipped cream or anything. The thought of that stuff in him made him want to throw up all over again.

He looked down at the bed. Sam could practically see the expression Dean would be wearing if he were there. He wouldn’t be happy. Dean had never hated the Trickster as much as Sam had. He’d liked Gabriel’s style since that first time they’d met, and Dean wasn’t the one who had lived through those endless Tuesdays. He’d grumbled about Gabriel messing up Doctor Sexy but that was about it. In its own way Dean’s casual disregard for the Trickster had helped Sam let go of his own fading anger after the apocalypse had ended.

That didn’t mean Dean would have approved. Except it wasn’t like Dean could talk with all the eye fucking he and Cas did. Sam didn’t know how far Cas and Dean had actually gotten because he actively tried not to think about Dean and Sex at the same time, and he and Gabriel had . . . .

It wasn’t the gay thing. Sam had experimented enough at Stanford to know he was solidly in the bi category. But this was _Gabriel_ , and even if he wasn’t something halfway between an archangel and a pagan trickster god he could still vanish at the drop of a hat. Sam didn’t need that.

Sam wouldn’t survive that.

He wasn’t sure what the night before had been. Just one guy helping another out, or another tactic to get him to sleep. If so it had admittedly worked. But it wasn’t like Gabriel hadn’t been dancing around him this whole time, with those looks and the suggestive banter. As much as Sam hated to admit it, he didn’t know the angel well enough to say if that was just how he always acted or if he was hiding genuine interest behind the snappy comebacks. And there was a thought. Sam had no idea what he’d do if there actually was interest there.

Gabriel wasn’t his usual type but he was certainly attractive. No, if Gabriel didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t have to think about it. It was probably just a onetime thing, just Gabriel flirting with anything that moved the way Dean sometimes did.

Dean… for a moment it felt like all his limbs were weighed down. He had to forcefully remind himself that Dean might not be dead, that Gabriel needed him right now. He couldn’t afford to let himself fall apart.

Sam checked his wallet, found a trio of fifties and considered his options. If they were going to be there for any length of time, he’d need to ward the room. He needed supplies, and he needed to pick up yarrow and willow bark in case Gabriel still needed them when he woke up. Leaving Gabriel alone was the last thing he wanted to do but… He left a note and made sure the door was solidly locked on his way out.

  


***

  


Gabriel woke up in a strange room, with a glass of water a crucifix and note on the bedside table. The past few hours were fuzzy but he slowly managed to piece together what must have happened.

He was an idiot. If he hadn’t been indulging himself, this never would have happened.

His trickster side had caused enough trouble. An archangel’s grace was generally stronger than a pagan god. He’d been suppressing his grace, trying to keep the balance inside him, but he must have gone too far. Old habits, he guessed.

In a way he was lucky it had been that leviathan gunk that took him down a peg. If he had gone on too long like that he might not have realized what was happening until it was too late.  His power levels had been fluxuating, still were. Old habits encouraging him to replace the power he’d spent. He clamped down on that instinct and reached into his reserves. Healing himself came first, he’d worry about the rest of it later.

  


***

  


Sam felt every single one of the 47 minutes weighing on him as he jogged back up the motel stairs. He opened the door, frantic to reassure himself that Gabriel would be there, not mysteriously gone or worse, dead.

The angel was sitting up in bed. He had the pillows all bunched around him, propping him up, but he wasn’t actually awake that Sam could tell. His eyes were closed, his head down against his chest, with his breathing slow and level.

Sam let out the breath he had been holding and went to slump down onto the second bed. He gave himself five minutes before he fished in the shopping bag he’d returned with, pulling out the salt and a dry erase marker for the windows. The routine for warding the place was one he knew by heart and he didn’t need to think about it. It kept him moving.

After he warded the room he tried to relax, sitting on his bed with the TV on low so he wouldn’t disturb Gabriel. That didn’t last long. He’d never been able to get into daytime TV the way Dean sometimes had. He would have retreated to his laptop if he had it, but it, along with the rest of his things, was back at the cabin.

After the hotel and the shopping he had maybe $45 out of the hundred and fifty that had started in his wallet. Enough for a second night if he put a little pressure on the clerk. but not if he wanted to eat again. He had two of the fake cards but he hadn’t swapped them out in over three weeks and if any of the leviathans were still hunting them then it would send up bright red flairs. It wouldn’t be hard to find a bar and hustle up some cash but that would take time, and without knowing if Gabriel would be alright he didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t a necessity yet.

He got up, made coffee for himself and then used the rest of the hot water to brew up some willow bark tea for when Gabriel woke up. He drank the coffee. Smoothed out the covers on the second bed from where he’d been sitting on them. Adjusted the curtains so the afternoon light would fall on the wall rather than the angel. Checked the messages on his phone (nothing new). Then finally decided to run down to the lobby for a newspaper.

He’d be gone for five minutes, ten if they didn’t have one and he’d have to run down to the corner market. He wrote a note for Gabriel anyway.

The angel hadn’t moved, or at least nothing had changed, when Sam returned panting from the stairs.  He took a deep breath to settle his pulse and slumped into the single chair at the small table. He read the paper slowly, glancing over at Gabriel every so often, despite the fact that the angel never moved beyond his slow steady breathing. Sam wasn’t actually looking for a case, but the habit was there and he circled a few odd occurrences.

The afternoon wore on slowly into evening.

The room had dimmed into semi-darkness when Sam looked and found that Gabriel’s eyes were open and watching him. “Gabriel.”

One corner of his mouth quirked briefly upward, then Gabriel let his expression settle back into quiet contemplation. Sam stood and crossed to sit on the other bed. He wanted to reach out, to check for a fever again, or take his hand, or even wrap him in the kind of hug that Gabriel had given him last night, but instead he just laced his fingers together so they won't fidget.

“How are you feeling?’

“I have the toxin contained and Isolated, but it will still take some time to get it all out of my system.” His voice didn’t have the inflections that normally danced through his words.

“That’s good. That’s, that is good right?”

“I will be fine. I simply need more rest.”

The lack of contractions made Sam look at the angel. Gabriel was looking down at the now cold tea Sam had set on the bedside table. His expression surprisingly similar to the one Cas wore when Dean tried to explain his music or something else equally human that the angel had no reference for, offhandedly interested.

Used to explain, used to wear. Because Cas and Dean weren’t there anymore, and no matter what Gabriel said there was still no reason to believe they were alive. They had tempted fate way too many times, and this time was it. His brother was gone.

Dear god, Dean was gone.

It hit Sam all over again, and he had no idea how he had managed to push it away all afternoon, but apparently he had reached his limit. Sam could feel his shoulders hunching in, and there was a large part of him that wanted to just curl up on the bed and never come out. In a spare thought he wondered if Gabriel switched the flask of whisky when he turned all the other bottles into water, but then he remembered that Dean burned the flask and Bobby was just another person on the list who died for them, died for him.

“Stop that.”

Sam looked up in time for Gabriel to tap him lightly on the forehead. Soft hazy warmth settled over Sam, like curling up in front of the fire or swimming in a warm calm sea. Sam blinked at the angel. For a moment Gabriel’s eyes held a glint of amber mischief, then his eyes closed as he leaned back into the pillows. “Grief is natural, but a death does not assign blame on the living. You are not at fault.”

Sam looked up then back down at his hands. He took a long slow breath, letting the warmth sink into him, trying not to fight it.

“Thanks.” It came out more sullen than he meant it to but Gabriel either didn’t notice or didn’t mind.

He hmmed back, not opening his eyes. “You are welcome.”

“I, you’re really going to be alright?”

“Yes, Sam. I was simply caught off guard. The Toxin is more virulent than I had anticipated. I suspect that even with the Alpha leviathan dead it will continue to spread for some time. It seems that is a matter that will need to be addressed once I am recovered.”

Sam nodded, still watching Gabriel. Something was up with him and it was more than just the poison. His words were wrong somehow. Even when Gabriel was being serious there was normally an undercurrent of self-mocking laughter under his voice. It wasn’t like Cas, not really; it was deeper and broader, and not Gabriel even though it was.

Sam hesitated, then licked his lips, taking a breath to speak. Gabriel noted the motion from beneath heavy lashes. Sam caught the glint of his eyes and felt his face start to heat up.

Then his stomach growled. It took a moment for Sam to realize that he hadn’t eaten anything since the fruit salad that morning. He’d been too distracted, too concerned about Gabriel and trying to work out what to do if he hadn’t woken up.

“You should eat something.”

Sam ran the gauntlet from embarrassed to frustrated to sullen anger; the standard little brother default, or as Dean would have put it, pouting. One of Gabriel’s eyebrows rose and Sam braced himself for a wry retort, but none came. Instead Gabriel fished under the blankets for a minute (and Sam carefully did not imagine all the things he could be doing) before coming up with a wallet. He pulled out a simple white credit card which he handed to Sam.

“I trust you know what will be safe.”

“Uhh, yeah, but.”

“I will be fine. I can defend myself should it come to that.”

Sam looked back and forth between the card and Gabriel, who had once again closed his eyes. Then he pushed all the excuses away and forced himself to be practical. It wasn’t normally that hard. Sam needed to eat. The sooner he went and picked up food the sooner he could come back. Waiting would only mean he’d have to go farther to find a store with fresh produce that was still open.

He stood, grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

  


***

  


Sam’s dreams were full of Dean that night. It started with Dean stabbing Dick, only instead of Dick exploding he had turned around and eaten Dean. Drowning him in black goo. Dean had managed to struggle to the surface; gasping and floundering before Alistair roughly shoved him back under.

Sam had been hopelessly unable to move, silently screaming even as he knew Dean couldn’t hear him, at least until Lucifer had leaned in and casually commented that ‘Sam was really on a streak’, and ‘How many times have you watched him die now?’ as if he was watching some twisted sports event.

Gabriel had appeared just after the black goo turned to hellfire, and Dean started to scream. He walked through the indistinct boundaries of the dream; approaching Sam’s not quite there form. His expression was calm, but his eyes held an angry fire. With a touch, Sam and Gabriel were standing in Bobby’s Kitchen. Sam could see into the living room where both Dean and Bobby were leaned over books, cold beers close at hand.

Sam looked down at the angel, whose expression was now slightly smug. He reached out to wrap Gabriel’s hand in his.

He woke slowly the next morning, remembering the dream only in vague strokes that quickly faded. He did a visual check of the room, his eyes lingering on where Gabriel was still sitting on his bed apparently oblivious to the rest of the world. Then he headed for the bathroom, hoping a shower would help him wake up until he could find coffee. The place had decent water pressure at least and it didn’t start to run cold in the first five seconds.

As he went through the normal routine he tried to recapture the dream. He could remember Dean snarking at something, but what was already gone, and Bobby’s library, only it had been sunny like the kitchen, and Gabriel had been there. Gabriel, smiling with his whole being, the way Sam had only seen once or twice. He remembered every time he had seen that smile. It was full of everything that was Gabriel, no holding back.

The hands soaping down his chest slid lower, not actually surprised to find he was half hard. It was morning wood and the heat of the shower. The image of Gabriel continued to drift through his mind as Sam wrapped his hand around his shaft and turned his face up into the stream of water. He didn’t remember the shower being tall enough for him the last time he’d stayed here. Few motel showers were comfortable for a man who broke six foot four. The idle thought that maybe Gabriel had changed it for him had him squeezing his cock.

His other hand came up to brace against the shower wall. He was fully hard now, better to just take care of it. Stroking slowly he thought through his normal fantasies. It wasn’t one of the burnets with deep red lips or the tanned dark eyed women, that came to mind though, it was Gabriel.

Gabriel from the other night, leaning over him, straddling his waist, rubbing off against his hip. That expressive mouth quirked up, spilling out words like, “Come on, that’s it.” and “Want to see you.” and “So fucking good.” Those endless nicknames descending into a litany of “Sam, Sam, Sam.”  

It wasn’t hard to change the fantasy slightly, Imagine Gabriel, not just straddling him, but riding him there on the couch. Sam’s hands on the angel’s hips, pulling him down on his cock. Rolling his hips up into that liquid heat as Gabriel, his eyes glowing a wicked gold, reached down to work himself over. Giving Sam a show as he took the pleasure he wanted. Shamelessly showing off. He would lean forward just far enough to whisper into Sam’s ear how good it felt, and how desperate Sam looked, before biting into his neck just behind his jaw.

Sam’s hand slipped from where it was frantically stroking his dick, and he gritted out a curse from between his teeth. He’d been close, really close, but now the shampoo he’d been too distracted to rinse out of his hair was dripping into his eyes and the realization of exactly what he had been imagining flooded over him.

He had been imagining Gabriel while he jerked off, Quite vividly if he was being honest and that was surprising in itself. Apart from who he fucked he was actually kind of vanilla in bed; a fact that Dean teased him mercilessly about, right after he’d gotten done telling him how very TMI that was.

Gabriel was in the other room for heavens sake, and a mind reader on top of it. Even if he had implied he wouldn’t poke around in Sam’s brain he’d be able to figure it out by the fact that Sam wouldn’t be able to meet his eyes.

Sam let his hands fall to his sides, his head hanging forward and the water running over his face. A moment later there was a grumbling noise from somewhere in the wall and the water went cold. Sam let his shoulders slump for a minute. His erection was fading fast, what with the new temperature, his embarrassment and thinking of Dean of all people.

He stayed in the shower for just long enough to make sure his hair was clean, then stepped out in search of a towel that could actually fit around him.

  


The newspaper wasn’t very interesting the first time around and it wasn’t any better a day later. Sam spent the morning back at the small table, constantly crossing and uncrossing his legs, trying to find a comfortable position. It was mostly that the table wasn’t quite the right height, but there was also the fact that Gabriel still hadn’t moved from his bed, head tilted back just enough to display the lines of his throat. His eyes open, gazing unseeing up at something far beyond the ceiling. Except for when Sam caught the angel looking at him.

It only happened a few times but when it did, god.

The problem was that Sam was used to having something to work towards. He could be patient when he needed to be but normally there was a goal to that patience, and without one his mind started to wander. He felt like he should be researching a case but the only possible case in front of him was Gabriel, ( Because he is _not_ thinking about Dean and how if he is alive Sam should really be searching for him. ) which was a subject that he kept having to drag his mind away from for several reasons. Of course it was always then that Gabriel’s eyes would flick in his direction, which started the whole thing over again.

Around 12:30 Sam stood, stretching his arms out over his head. His stomach made a few discontented grumbles. The hunter realized that he’d gotten used to eating again with Gabriel around. Dean had always given him hell for eating like a rabbit but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pack it away. With the corn syrup contaminated he and Dean had been eating healthier but they’d also been eating less. Gabriel had actually encouraged him to stuff himself if he wanted to.

“Hey, you hungry?” Sam rubbed at the back of his neck. He felt a bit awkward breaking the silence that had settled over the room.

“I do not require food. However you should eat, I will be done neutralizing the poison in less than an hour. Once that is done we should be on our way.”

Sam waited, expecting the Angel to smile, make a joke, something. He’d thought it was just the poison making Gabriel distant, but him turning down food? No, something was not right here.

“That’s crap. Since you showed up you’ve been more interested in food then me. I don’t think there’s a single time I’ve seen you where you didn’t have some kind of tootsie pop or sucker or M&Ms that you were munching on. Don’t give me that bullshit about not needing food.” Okay so maybe it would be smarter not to cuss out the archangel but Gabriel was kind of freaking him out here.

Sam figured that he probably knew more about Gabriel then basically any other human. He’d seen him at his most serious, trapped in a ring of fire, stuck somewhere between anger and despair at what his brothers had done. He’d seen him at his most cunning; playing the long con on Sam himself, or madingley whimsical, like that first time they had met. Bottom line, he was never just silent, he wasn’t the type to sit there for a day and a half. Poisoned or not he should have been snarking at the TV or grumbling at the conditions of the motel room.

Gabriel let his head fall to the side, a move strangely reminiscent of Cas. It made Sam shiver, because suddenly he could place the mannerisms. He could match them to the angels he’d seen, the soldiers who were little more than automatons, and that was the farthest thing from Gabriel that he could imagine.

“Interest, or pleasure does not equate need.”

“Bullshit!”

Gabriel stared at Sam with mild interest, unmoving and without a single protest to Sam’s language or the fact that at some point he had crossed the room to stand over the angel, using his height in an unconscious attempt to drag the situation back to where he could understand it.

Sam managed to take a breath and forced his shoulders to loosen up. He slumped back sinking onto the other bed. For a slow three count he let his head hang forward, his hair covering his eyes before he planted his hands on his knees and looked up.

“Please Gabriel, just talk to me. Has that poison done something to you? You’re not acting like you, man. Whatever this is, let me help you.” Sam left off how he didn’t think he could handle losing Gabriel on top of Cas and Dean. Didn’t say how right now Gabriel was literally the only thing stopping him from just getting in the Impala and driving until he ran out of road. Well, Gabriel and the fact that the Impala was now half way across the country.

Gabriel let his head fall to the side again, and Sam never thought he’d learn to hate that gesture, but he was getting there.

-

“Healing myself has required a great deal of power. Angelic power, as the power of a trickster would have no effect on creatures created before your people or even this planet.”

“So what? Using angel power makes you act like one of them?” Sam forced himself to slow down, to take a breath.

Gabriel started to take a breath as if to speak, but paused. “I am--” his eyebrows came together and there was a spark of personality in his eyes.

“Why are you acting like, like a drone? Come on, Gabriel; you can’t just drop into my life like this and then turn around and start acting like, like.” Sam’s voice broke over the words.

Gabriel’s eyebrow rose a fraction.

“You’re acting like one of those dick angels Dean and I had to keep dodging. This isn’t you. Even when you were openly claiming to be an archangel you were never an ass. At least, you know endless Tuesdays and killing Dean a million times and TV Land aside... actually you were pretty much always an ass, but that was still _way_ better then Zachariah, and Lucifer can _not_ hit the high notes, and, Gabriel. This isn’t you! I know it’s just that gunk, and you need to get it out of your system but sitting here and having to watch it, I just. This isn’t who you are and I’d rather have you giving me hell, because right now it feels like I’m losing you too--”

A Hand Came up and covered Sam’s lips before he could descend into the pit that was threatening to pull him in again. Dean, Bobby, Cas, and now Gabriel. Dean, oh god, Dean was…. There were tears in his eyes when Sam looked up.

Gabriel was vibrating. His eyes were unfocused again, but this time it was in concentration.

“Shhhhh.” the angel whispered. Gabriel took his hand back, looking down at it as if he was holding something infinitely precious or infinitely dangerous. A line appeared between his eyes and he carefully brought his fingers together.

He snapped.

Sam blinked and the room was suddenly full to bursting with bright colors. There were balloons covering the ceiling, and not just the regular dollar store variety either. These were metallic with pictures of cartoon characters and slogans screaming out in bold letters: Happy Birthday, It’s a Boy, It’s a Girl, Congratulations, 4 Years Old, Get Well Soon, all intermixed with pink and yellow streamers. Stuffed animals and other carnival prizes were propped up on every surface. A bright pink overstuffed elephant sagged in Sam’s former chair. Half a dozen teddy bears with big button eyes and hearts on their bellies had been scattered over the floor, between the rainbow fuzzy dice hanging from the window, the floppy purple platypus that now sat on top of the TV, and the pile of red rubber balls in the far corner. Surrounding Sam on the bed were the kind of plastic capsules that came out of vending machines or cheap crane games; they were the size of softballs and through the clear plastic Sam could see everything from bobbleheads to jewelry. Gabriel’s bed had apparently gotten the better end of the deal, it was covered in mardi gras beads, plastic gold and silver coins and small brightly colored candies.

What surprised Sam most though was that his own attire had changed. He was now wearing some kind of viking helmet with antlers weighing it down. A blue and white feather boa was wrapped around his neck. His shirt now had a hawaiian print, and yes that was a kilt. At least he still had his boots.

Sam looked up at Gabriel, completely at a loss. Gabriel quirked his eyebrows, grinning, and it was Gabriel, his Gabriel, not some angel drone. Sam started to smile but Gabriel was pushing himself up and saying. “We need to run now.”

“What?”

Gabriel started for the door, but stumbled. Sam reached up and caught him on reflex. The angel was light, too light, even for someone of his size.

“Whoa, sorry there Sam-a-lam. Light headed there for a second. That took a bit more out of me then I thought, but yeah we should really be running now.”

“What did you do?” Sam held Gabriel down as he tried to head for the door again.

“You were right. I used too much power on the angel side of things. The balance was tipping. Only way to tip it back was to put out a lot of trickster energy all at once.” Gabriel waved a hand at the room. “Of course that kind of spike is going to get noticed, so shall we?” This time when Gabriel tried for the door Sam let him. Staying just close enough that he would be there if Gabriel wavered again.

Sam lost the helmet trying to get through the door, then Gabriel was grabbing his hand and down the stairs and out through the delivery entrance. They jogged down streets at random, taking corners on Gabriel’s whim. Finally they ended up in some kind of park, following a jogging track through scattered trees.

  


Sam didn’t know what to say. His emotions were a mess of relief covered in new flavors of worry. He didn’t want Gabriel to fade away or whatever it was that would happen. It didn’t sound like there was anything he could do to stop it, except maybe keep watch. He felt like he did when Dean had less than a year and they had run out of leads. There was still that spark though, that knowledge that he was not alone yet, and Gabriel was still beside him clearly tired but smiling all the same.

He knew he should say that it’ll be okay, that they would get through this, but Sam didn’t want to be the strong one. He wanted Gabriel to pull him into his arms and tell him how they were going to fix everything. Then make another bad joke or suggestive comment and they’d both laugh and the world would be brighter.

Instead he let Gabriel’s hand slip from his. The angel was always far more than he deserved.

Gabriel kept walking for another step before he realized Sam had stopped. He looked up at the hunter and then down at his feet.

“Sorry. I hadn’t realized. I couldn’t tell.”

“How could you not tell? It’s your power! What if I hadn’t noticed, hadn’t said anything?”

“Hey, hey, It’s okay. It was just the slow build up, you know? Like how a frog will let itself boil if you turn up the temperature slow enough. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“No.” Sam shook his head making his hair flop all over the place. “No more Magic. Not unless it’s life or death, promise me!”

“Sammykins.”

“Promise me Gabriel. If using your magic is so dangerous that you had to set off a flair for a bunch of pagan gods in order to keep the angels off your trail then it’s not worth it. Not for cheap tricks like washing the dishes or picking up a fancy breakfast.”

Gabriel looked up at Sam and sighed. In a way Sam was right. He hadn’t had the chance to go through and take stock of his reserves but they had to have taken a fairly sizable hit. The more drained he got the stronger the urge to tap into other sources would get and that really would change him.

“Alright Sam, After I take us back to the cabin, no more magic, unless there’s an emergency.”

The hunter looked at him. It was clear he had expected more of a fight. Gabriel tried to look open and honest, and then realized that he kind of sucked at honesty so he just smiled and hoped it would hide all the worries that Sam really didn’t need to deal with.

Sam’s stomach finally rumbled, breaking the silence, and Sam couldn’t help but blush. The kid never had had a chance to eat. Gabriel grinned again, the shadow momentarily wiped from his features.

“You know, I don’t think I remember you eating last night.” Gabriel painted an overly dramatic frown on his features and waggled a finger. “Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Am I going to have to train you to eat properly?”

“I ate.” He trailed off.

Gabriel scoffed. “Celery and bananas do not count. You’re a mountain, I hate to agree with Dean on anything but you need more than rabbit food especially if we’re going to get rid of this plague.

A smile managed to creep onto Sam’s face. “You’re one to talk.”   

“Hey, I am a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent over here; calories are beneath me.”

Sam couldn’t help it, he leaned forward and pulled his angel to his chest, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Gabriel’s hair, laughter gently shaking his frame.

Gabriel leaned into the embrace, relieved that Sam seemed at least a bit better. The notion that he’d been so focused on Sam that he hadn’t kept track of his own power was, was….

Well it kind of made sense. Gabriel had always been drawn to Sam, even before he’d spent over a year concocting a single trick around him. He smiled into Sam’s chest enjoying the strength in those arms and the raw light from his soul. Sam eventually pulled away, color high on his cheeks, and his eyes dark. It wasn’t hard to tell what the hunter was thinking, even without reading his mind.

“Hungry Sammykins?”

Sam’s eyes darted away but not before Gabriel caught sight of his tongue darting over his lips. The hunter’s neck had gone salmon pink. Gabriel was fairly certain that nothing was going to actually happen but he could still enjoy Sam’s reactions.

“Home, Lunch.” Sam said firmly.

Gabriel smiled and snapped his fingers.

Sam packed up the cabin while Gabriel made sandwiches, and they ate while navigating the backroads, headed for the interstate.

Sam got them onto the highway before asking “So, where are we going.”

“We have to get rid of that poison, so you tell me. You were the last one to have the Horsman’s rings.”

Sam glanced sideways at where Gabriel was slumped against the passenger door popping skittles into his mouth. Gabriel shrugged, “It’s in the food right, and it creates cravings? That sounds like Famine to me, the ring doesn’t care if it’s manufactured or not.”

“Huh, guess that makes sense.” and Sam turned them towards Vegas.

  
  


***

  


It was already late when they set out, and Sam hadn’t done more than cat nap while Gabriel recovered so he didn’t put up too much of a fight when Gabriel suggested they find a room. It felt odd, talking to the clerk, and then carting his things into the room, dumping his duffle on the twin bed farthest from the door. There was a feeling of having someone at his back, moving just out of sight in a well worn pattern. It was so familiar from all the times he’d done this with Dean, but then he’d turn and Dean wasn’t there. Gabriel would look up and raise an eyebrow.

Dean always took the bed closer to the door. He always put his duffle down on the left side of the bed, because he slept on his right side. But Gabriel ignored the bed, and didn’t have a duffle in any case. The angel was poking at the coffee pot and opening each of the drawers in the dresser just to confirm that nothing was in them. Then he sat at the small table picked up the remote for the ancient TV and studied it without actually turning the thing on.

Sam looked at the bed, Dean’s bed. There was a lump in his throat, and the room had started to blur at the edges. “I’m, gonna take a shower.” He managed to squeeze out, before fleeing the room.

  


***

  


Gabriel watched the hunter go and felt his shoulders sag. He didn’t know what had set it off, but that look was the same one he’d seen that first night. He let Sam run. He’d already made his argument. At this point there was nothing Gabriel could do. Nothing that would help, but time.

Plus he had his own problems.

The magic he had used had cost him. His reserves were dangerously low.

He was balancing on a line between the powers and now there was all that added weight pulling from each side. What’s worse, he knew he would be welcomed by whichever family he chose.

If he chose the trickster Kali would welcome him into her arms and maybe even her bed. Many of the old gods had been killed by Lucifer but others had hidden away, or waited out the Christian apocalypse. Thor, Poseidon, Hermes, Anansi, Coyote and Ravan, Pele, he had raised a glass with all of them at one time or another and he knew they would laugh and shake their heads if he came strolling back onto the world stage. Loki, that old fox, that sly trickster, I knew he wasn’t dead, always got one more card up his sleeve, do you remember when he….  

From what Sam had said, Heaven was in ruins. They would welcome the return of the fourth archangel. The traditionalists would hand him Michael’s throne as his right, and the younger angels would flock to him to hear stories of his time on earth, what he learned. It could be like it should have been. His family around him, together, watching over and protecting their father’s creations. Gabriel the harbinger, bringing word of the new great age of heaven.

Both offers were so, so tempting.

Once he had managed to balance between the two extremes; but he was no longer receiving the energy of the prayers sent to Gabriel and he hasn’t played a trick on anyone since he came back. His tank is getting dangerously close to empty. It wasn’t enough to qualify as truly fallen but he wasn’t going to be able to pull anyone back from death any time soon and there wasn’t going to be any buffer for the ritual they needed to do. He could just tap into one side or the other but in this weakened state that would mean never finding his balance again, whichever persona he chose, the other would be truly dead. He could manage the little things but another big stunt would force his hand one way or the other.

If something went wrong, he wouldn’t be able to stop it.

He heard the water shut off behind the bathroom door. Gabriel crossed to it and knocked lightly. “Hey, you hungry in there? I saw an Italian place on the corner that looked good.”

There was a muffled grunt from the other side of the door that might have been a confirmation. Gabriel debated opening the door, checking on Sam, making sure he was really okay. The idea of seeing Sam just out of the shower was one he wanted for multiple reasons, but that wasn’t what Sam needed right now.

That on top of the rest of it convinced Gabriel to turn away. Sam didn’t need him leering when he was feeling like this. Gabriel grabbed one of the room keys as he left.

  


When Gabriel returned with the food half an hour later it was to find Sam curled into his bed, the comforter pulled in tight around his hunched shoulders and one hand beneath his pillow.  

Gabriel set aside the boxes of ravioli and garlic bread. He turned down the lights thinking that he’d let the hunter sleep, but then Sam whimpered. Gabriel drifted a step closer. He could see the nightmare on Sam’s face and in his aura. Sam needed the sleep, he knew, but he had promised himself he wouldn’t get too close. Not when Sam was already this vulnerable. He had come dangerously close to breaking that promise these past few days.

Sam whimpered again, flinching back in his sleep. Gabriel leaned forward, hesitating, before his fingers could touch Sam’s forehead. He wouldn’t let himself be a burden to the hunter. Sam didn’t want him, not in that way. He was a kind and giving person, and he had only just started putting himself back together. If Gabriel tried anything Sam wouldn’t be in a position to stop him.

So there it was. That was the line that he wouldn’t let himself cross. If Sam made the first move then he’d go with it. Not that Sam ever would, but that was beside the point.

He let his fingers fall onto the hunter’s brow, smoothing the hair aside as he silenced the night terrors. Gabriel started to turn away, but Sam reached out, struggling with the blanket as he unconsciously tried to reach for the angel.

Gabriel let out a long slow breath. Just to keep the nightmares away, he promised himself, and he climbed up onto the bed. Sam curled into him and relaxed, sinking into a deeper level of sleep, one without dreams.  

  
  


***

  


“You sealed up Famine's ring behind the welcome to Las Vegas sign?” Gabriel couldn’t help the mocking note that crept into his voice. The location was inspired in its own way but anything that on the nose deserved a chuckle at least. Sam shrugged, hefted his shovel and headed for the center of the dark brown stain at the edge of the road.

Sam had said they made decent time but Gabriel had been going out of his mind, stuck in the car like that. He didn’t know how Castiel could stand it. The angel in him had made some comment about patience and the right time for all things. The trickster in him had wanted to start playing target practice with any cows they passed, or snap up billboards with messages that were either in other languages of just plain weird. He’d ended up playing license plate bingo until Sam gave him one of his looks when he held up two fingers to change the Toyota in front of him to Georgia. It had been the last one he needed.

Evening was on them and the temperature had started to drop. Sam stabbed the ground a few times before settling in to dig.

The hunter had reported that he and Dean had sealed the rings (at least the ones they still had) in boxes that had been etched with every spell they knew and buried them all across the country. Sam’s voice had been almost wistful when he’d told the story about how Dean had been too paranoid  to keep them together. Gabriel took it as a good sign that Sam could talk about Dean at all.

After wandering around on the shoulder for a bit to stretch his legs Gabriel ambled back over to Sam. He had taken off his jacket and even in the evening chill sweat was dampening his white undershirt. Gabriel let his eyes roam over Sam’s back. Sam bent down to lift another shovel of dirt and Gabriel’s eyes fell to the curve of his ass. Sam tossed the dirt aside and bent again.

“You know, you could come help rather than just standing there.” Sam was breathing hard.

“And miss the show? Besides, you told me not to.”

Sam paused giving Gabriel one of those looks. “I told you not to overuse your powers. There’s a difference.

Gabriel considered that, then gestured at the growing hole. “Might want to try a little to the left.”

Sam gave him another of his looks but he shifted to the left. Fifteen minutes later his shovel connected with the submerged box with a metallic clink. Sam knelt down and brushed the top layer of dirt aside, hauling the box out of the hole. Gabriel leaned in as Sam opened the box. The ring sat there in the bottom corner, the stone dull with dust.

Sam took a few long strides to set the box down on the hood of the impala. Gabriel, caught off guard and with a far smaller stride, couldn’t stop Sam before he’d picked up the ring and held it out. Gabriel wrapped his fingers around Sam’s wrist, taking his eyes from the ring only long enough to make sure Sam was paying attention.

“Easy kiddo. Let’s not wave the apocalypse weapon around like a pop-gun shall we?”

Sam glanced at the ring as if he honestly hadn’t considered looking at it like that. No wonder the Winchesters took on things so far out of their league.

“Uhh, yeah, sure.” he said and put the ring back in the box.

Gabriel’s shoulders eased only a fraction. He turned back to the impala with his shoulders hunched.

“What about the ritual?” Sam called as he watched his angel work at the passenger door.

He just shook his head. “Not here.”

Sam tucked the box away in the trunk. He got in behind the wheel but didn’t start the car.  “I uh, I never asked. This ritual, what exactly…”

Gabriel let his eyes drift to Sam, and forced himself to relax. Sam was watching him, biting his lip and clearly concerned. “I’m okay, really. Just don’t like having that thing around. Not exactly a lot of happy memories tied to Famine.” Sam nodded and his shoulders eased out of their hunched posture. Gabriel hadn’t realized how much the kid was keying off his moods. Given what had happened it made sense, but only in the terribly dependant ways the Winchesters were known for.

It set a vice around the angel’s chest, because a part of him really wanted that. He wanted Sam’s eyes on him. Wanted the heat of him as they sat not quite touching. Wanted the careful strength in his hands. Wanted to feel Sam’s hair fall around him as Sam kissed lines down his neck. And was there a line a while back? He must have crossed it.

He sighed, and gestured Sam to head back toward the highway. Gabriel rolled down the window and stuck his hand out, ignoring the chill of the air rushing past.

The problem was that it would be all too easy pull Sam in right now. The hunter was doing better now that he had something other than his grief to focus on but there were still moments. One of Dean’s songs would come on the radio or when he had checked the weapons and Dean’s gun had been right there. Sam’s eyes would go blank and he’d stop whatever he’d been doing, coming back with a reflexive jerk if anyone touched him but otherwise….

If he got too close and something happened. Sam could break. Gabe couldn’t do that to him. Not with the ritual still to do and his own power situation. Not that he was planning on going anywhere. The universe could go screw itself, before he made that choice voluntarily.

“So where are we going?” Sam asked the silence.

Gabe glanced over again and considered. “Chicago” he paused, “Or Dallas I guess. We’re going to need a major crossroads if we want this thing to spread, New York might also work. Couple of international airports there, but Chicago would probably be best.” He shrugged.

Sam nodded, setting his shoulders and settled in behind the wheel. Gabriel traced the strong lines down his neck and arms. Sam hadn’t bothered to put on a jacket after the exertion. Goosebumps were starting to appear below the line of his sleeve. Gabriel pulled his hand back inside and rolled up the window.

Sam was biting his lip again.

“There’s not much to it actually, the ritual.” Gabriel clarified. “Put on the ring and use it. Except instead of spreading the influence, pull it back. Since its Famine the ring can even be used to turn food. Grocery stores will go crazy for a few weeks but all the new stuff they put on the shelves will be clean.”

“Right. I can do that.” Sam’s shoulders came up again, this time set stubbornly back.

“You don’t have to. I can.”

“Gabe.”

“Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes clouded over briefly, then the hunter pulled himself together. “Can you honestly tell me you won’t have to use your powers?”

“That’s not the point. I have a better idea of how these things work. It’ll be faster if I do it and there’s less chance I’ll be pulled under.”

“But it’s not a sure thing.” Sam’s jaw has taken on a stubborn set. “And if you do get pulled under who the hell is going to stop you?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “It’s not a sure thing with anyone; at least I have some understanding of what we’re dealing with.”

“It can’t be that hard if Dean managed to pull off being Death for nearly a day.”

Gabriel blinked and looked over at Sam. “He did?” Sam hadn’t filled him in on that tidbit of info.

“Yeah, so I’m doing it.” The set of his jaw said that was the end of it.

Gabriel wanted to argue, but he knew that stubborn streak. The last time he’d tangled with it he hadn’t come out on top. The angel in him was advising patience. Humans had to be allowed to make their own mistakes. If it came to it he was the one with heavenly power and he could simply take the ring for the glory of heaven. The trickster in him wanted to glue Sam’s fingers together. He sighed.

“I need some air.” And with a whisper of power he stretched his wings and vanished up into the clear evening sky.

Sam’s hands clenched on the wheel as he tried not to jump at the sudden absence.  He slumped back in his seat, the dreary landscape outside the windows darkening to black.

  


***

  


Sam had been driving all day, but even so he continued on through the night. Gabriel had told him to go to Chicago, so he was going to Chicago. It was the only thing he could think to do.  This was the first time Gabriel had left since he’d popped out of that DVD.

Sam spent nearly an hour changing the radio station every five minutes, unable to settle on anything, then the dial had found a classic rock station and he’d had to turn it off. Apart from intermittent city lights the impala’s headlights were the only thing that broke the darkness.

The endless blacktop was achingly familiar. It should have been a comfort in its way but all Sam could think was that he was in the wrong seat, unbalanced with no one slumped against the passenger side door.

Gabriel was gone, just like Cas was gone and Dean. Oh god Dean. Dean was gone and he hadn’t even started looking for him. Gabe had said he might be alive but he had no proof. If Dean was alive he would have called by now. Unless he was in a coma somewhere or trapped.  Crowley was a demon, he lied. He could have Dean trapped and tortured. Dean would fight, Sam knew Dean would fight but time moved faster in Hell and if he hadn’t heard anything by now… Cas was an angel it would have been easy for him to help Dean out of whatever they found themselves in. The fact that he hadn’t meant he couldn’t, meant he was dead too.

His hands felt heavy, holding onto the wheel only out of habit.

No Dean was gone, and yeah, he’d search but he wouldn’t try to fool himself that he was looking for anything more than a body to bury.

And Gabriel.

Well, it had only been a matter of time before Gabe got sick of him. If he was lucky his angel would come back for the ritual. He’d need him in case something went wrong….

Oh, fuck.

When had he started thinking of Gabriel as his angel?

Gabriel wasn’t his. He’d been lucky to get as much time as he had. No matter how much he wanted it, they’d never have the kind of connection Dean had with Cas. He’d been in the right place at the right time to catch Gabe’s eye. It was his heritage and his destiny that had drawn Gabe in, kept his attention; but none of that mattered anymore.

Fuck, here he was acting wistful over the damn apocalypse. Just because for a brief time the two important people in his life had been there with him. And how pathetic was it that a trickster archangel was as important to him as Dean.  

That Gabriel was important to him.

He had it bad.

He wanted him back. Sam looked over at the passenger seat and realized it wasn’t Dean he wanted to be sitting there.  Part of it was that Dean was always the one behind the wheel, not him, but more of it was the past few days. He missed Gabriel’s voice, the way he’d always fiddle with things when his mind wandered, all of it.

“Gabriel.” it came out as a whisper that he hadn’t meant to voice.

That was when the dog came out of nowhere, darting in front of the car.

Sam saw movement and twisted at the wheel, slamming on the break. As fast as his reflexes were though, he still felt the thump of a grazing impact.

“No.” he pleaded as the car screeched to a stop. “No, no, no” Then he was out of the car and he could see that the animal was still alive, but it wasn’t getting up. There was blood, but not enough light to tell how much.

“Sam!” Suddenly Gabriel was there silver sword gleaming as he spun, looking for the threat. Their eyes met, Sam’s wet and desperate, Gabriel’s fierce. Then Gabe saw the animal Sam was crouched over.

“Oh for Dad’s sake.” Gabriel put away his sword and knelt. He ignored the look Sam gave him and with a touch the dog was rolling back to its feet. It shook itself then looked up at Sam with doggy admiration.  

Sam turned to Gabriel and he couldn’t seem to decide whether he wanted to look upset or grateful. The dog shuffled forward and licked Sam’s hand. Absentmindedly he scratched behind its ears.

Gabriel shook his head and started laughing. “Sasquatch, you are something else.” He offered a hand. Sam took it. Gabriel was surprisingly steady as he pulled Sam to his feet.

The dog looked back and forth between them. Then its ears pricked up and it trotted off, sniffing at the ground every so often.

“That’s gratitude for you.” Gabe muttered. He turned to look up at the hunter. “Wellp, that was fun, what now?”

Sam took a step to lean against the Impala, his eyes continuously returning to Gabriel. The Angel waited what he deemed to be an appropriate length of time, then he rolled his eyes and held out a hand.

“If you don’t want to drive, I will, but I’d rather be stuck in your snail of a machine then standing around an empty road.”

Sam managed something that was at least in the same realm as a smile and opened the driver-side door. Gabriel walked around to the passenger side and strapped himself in. Sam turned over the engine, but stopped before putting the car in gear.

“Thanks, for coming back.” he didn’t look at Gabriel as he said it, just stared out the dark windshield.

“Sam.” Gabriel stopped, looked down, then took a breath and looked back at Sam. His eyes were luminescent. “Sam, I will always come back.”

  


***

  


It was less than an hour before Gabriel was insisting they stop. He spent fifteen minutes complaining about a craving for mac and cheese, but in the end directed Sam to pull into a motel rather than one of the all night diners along the highway.

Sam just seemd resigned when Gabriel used his powers to summon a feast of comfort food. Sam relented enough to let Gabriel pass him a plate of meatloaf, broccoli smothered in cheese sauce and the aforementioned mac and cheese. Sam may still have been cautious about Gabriel using his powers but whatever he did to zap up dinner somehow made it some of the best food Sam had ever eaten. Plus it was safer and faster than hunting through shelves to find things without the sucrocorp logo.

It was already late but Sam was still riding out that punch of adrenaline from the dog and it’s not like he kept normal hours in any case. He switched on the TV and found an old western playing on one of the local channels.

After last time Sam didn’t bother getting a room with two beds. So there was no where for Gabriel to sit but beside him, propped up against the headboard. Gabriel pulled popcorn out of thin air at some point and Sam fell asleep before the credits started rolling.

The next morning Sam found he had once again curled towards the angel. Gabriel had one arm lazily draped around Sam’s shoulders, and was quietly working his way through a stack of comic books. He occasionally sipped from something that smelled like the most amazing combination of chocolate and coffee that had ever been in Sam’s proximity.

Gabriel let Sam see the smug smile when Sam groaned; but he passed over the cup so Sam was inclined to forgive him. Gabriel didn’t worry about the slow drips of power he was wasting. Sam found it comforting that was enough for now.

  


***

  


They reached Chicago at just after one in the afternoon. Sam had started to turn away from downtown, looking for the cheap, no name motels that he and Dean usually stayed at, but Gabriel rolled his eyes and flatly said.

“I am not staying in a rent by hour room when there’s a four star hotel with room service and a complimentary breakfast fifteen minutes away.”

Sam considered that for two blocks but he knew he was going to give in. “Fine, but you’re paying.”

Sam should really have expected them to end up in the honeymoon suite. It was exactly the kind of thing Gabriel would pull and Gabriel had been far too well behaved since the whole poisoning thing. Sam was kind of expecting to it all to build up until something cracked. He’d probably end up walking through a doorway one of these days only to find himself in toon town.

Not that it wasn’t a nice room, it was a fantastic room. Sam knew hotels. He knew all the signs that the staff were cutting corners or the bedding hadn’t been replaced in slightly too long. This place wasn’t just high end, it was elegant. The honeymoon suite was decorated in light blues with the occasional splash of yellow, and a view of Lake Michigan and the city skyline that meant the price of the room had to be four digits if not five. There was a living room, a bathroom with a full-size jacuzzi tub, a kitchenette fully stocked with plates silverware, a complimentary bottle of wine, and the one enormous bed in the bedroom was big enough for four.

Sam stared at the bed. He hadn’t really been paying attention when Gabriel had gotten the room. At the time he’d been more worried about the valet finding the weapons in the trunk. And it wasn’t like half the people he met didn’t think he was gay, but that was usually when he was with Dean, and just no, God no. Brothers!

But this wasn’t Dean, it was Gabriel.

And yeah, they didn’t need a second bed, but that was more because Gabriel didn’t actually sleep. And yeah, Gabriel had ended up in his bed the past few nights but that was different. Nothing had happened. Even if he kind of wanted it to. Okay, really wanted it to. And this was the honeymoon suite, what was he supposed to think?

Of course Gabriel chose that moment to stop inspecting the mini-fridge and wander over. “Getting ideas there Sasquatch?” He brought a hand up to his chest in a gesture of mock innocence. “And you haven’t even bought me dinner.”

“And here I thought we were already married.” It came out before Sam could sensor himself and his mind promptly shut down. There was a line there and he had just crossed it, and he had no idea if it was a big line or if he was just over analyzing things.

Then Gabriel was there, up on his toes to wrap his arms around Sam’s neck. “Well in that case, I think I’m overdue.” He planted a quick peck on one corner of Sam’s mouth then was gone before Sam could react. Halfway across the room and carefully keeping his eyes on the menu for the steak and seafood restaurant on the first floor. “What do you think Sasquatch? Would steak be too heavy for the ritual or oh hey lobster. You ever had lobster Sammich?”

“No.” Sam said, only it came out kind of weak and confused.

Gabriel finally glanced over. “Hey, kiddo. It’s going to be okay. I’ll walk you through this ritual and then we can lounge around for the rest of the week and figure out what to do next.”

Sam closed his eyes. Took a moment. Took a breath. Gabriel was right, in his strange roundabout, not-really-saying-what-I-mean way. They had a ritual to do. He could ask Gabriel what he felt afterward. If they were both still alive.

Story of his life.

“Whatever you want Gabriel. I’m going to take a shower.”

He tried not to notice the concern in Gabriel’s eyes as he turned away.

  


Gabriel told himself not to worry. He needed to focus on the ritual for humanity’s sake, as much as his own. Sam needed to have something to focus on and it would be a lot healthier if that something wasn’t him.

That didn’t stop Gabriel from ordering everything he thought Sam might like and making sure it was all laid out on the suit’s dining table for when Sam reemerged. And if he used a little more of his power then Sam might have liked to make sure it happened in time, well, no one would know. He was already too weak to do anything if the ritual failed, a few more drops of power wouldn’t make a difference one way or the other.

  


***

  


The ritual was simple, but there were things that would ease the strain put on Sam and enhance the range of the results.

After dinner they had shoved the couch into a corner and set up a circle in salt, and permanent marker. Gabriel found a set of hand mirrors somewhere and laid them out at the cardinal points of the circle. Sam stepped into the circle, box in hand, but paused when Gabriel motioned for him to wait.

The angel checked the door again, making sure it was properly barricaded. Then the windows, salted and painted with symbols, some that not even Sam recognized. Then Gabriel dragged one of the solid straight-backed chairs from where they had eaten dinner and sat.

“Once you put on the ring, you’ll need to focus. It’s going to be overwhelming. I mean it. More than you can imagine. Remember what the goal is. Remember why you’re doing this.” he paused, met Sam’s eyes. “If you try to leave the circle I’m going to stop you, and holding back won't be an option.” He emphasized the statement by setting his angle blade down on the table next to him.

“You said you wouldn’t use your powers.”

“keep it under control and I won’t have to.” There was a smile dancing over Gabriel’s lips that lightened the words.

Sam nodded.

“You good?”

“Yeah, let’s get this done.” Sam set down the box and opened it.

Gabriel tensed, but stayed in his chair.

Sam let Gabriel drift out of his mind, trusting the angel to have his back the way Dean always had. Instead he focused on centering himself. Ruby may have been a bitch in hindsight, but she had certainly taught him how to manipulate these kinds of energy. He picked up the ring, and slid it onto his hand in one smooth gesture. It probably looked more confident than he really was.

For the first minute he blocked the energy out of habit, not wanting to let anything get into his thoughts. Then the pressure started to build. Sam deliberately took a breath and opened a crack in his mind.

  


Dean had once said that he’d had a guide when he put on Death’s ring, a reaper named Tessa. And of course Death was still alive, so to speak. Apparently that made all the difference.

  


It started with his senses. Information flooded over him. He could smell everything in the room. The industrial detergent used on the sheets. The oil of his gun. The fake cherry flavor of the candy in Gabriel’s pocket. The soft lavender soap from the bathroom. The leftovers from their meal. The grease left on the plates in the sink. The dust filtering out of the air conditioning unit. The exhaust drifting in from the street outside. His own sweat as it overwhelmed the deodorant he’d put on that morning.

Then in a quick one two punch taste kicked in. He opened his mouth and gasped everything he’d smelled rolling over his tongue.  It was smoky and sweet and spicy and a million other things that he didn’t have words for. Part of him wanted to hurl, but a bigger part of him, the part the ring was outlining in neon, made him lick his lips.

There was a terribly subtle change in the air and suddenly Gabriel wasn’t just another part of the background. Gabriel smelled like the rain filled ozone of a thunderstorm, with highlights of sweat and the food they’d shared earlier. And arousal.

Touch came in to hit him when he was down. The way his shirt hung on his shoulders, the old well-washed fabric soft except for where the seams created lines of weight. His boots and socks were tight around his feet, a nearly suffocating amount of pressure that he somehow hadn’t noticed. The way his hair fell over the back of his neck. The way the weight of his gun sat, pinching the skin at the small of his back.  The chill air running over the backs of his arms. The weight of the knife where it hung from his belt. And his pants, God, how had he not realized how tight they were? Almost painful when faced with the raw hunger rushing through him.

 

He was hungry, so hungry and not just for the things he’d tried to brace himself for. There was a reason he’d eaten a full meal before they’d started. Greed was built into it as well, and Sam had to wonder if Gabriel had known that. Had he booked this crazy luxurious room for his own comfort or because he knew Sam would be greedy for all the comforts he could never normally have?

Lust was so far the strongest want. His eyes had narrowed on Gabriel and the images that were flashing through his mind were obscene. It was almost like his soul was gone again. He wanted to pin his angel to a wall, to that enormous bed and fuck him raw, take him until he screamed. He wanted teeth and sweat and skin. He wanted to be able to give up and be selfish. He had been alone for so long, he wanted to fill that void. He wanted his brother. He wanted the old ache of his father’s disappointment to finally fade away. He wanted Bobby and Jo and Ellen and Jess, and above all he wanted Gabriel. He wanted his light and laughter. He wanted to drink him in, fill himself and tie them together so tightly no one would be able to take him away again.

His vision had shrunk down to a tunnel, a terrible ringing in his ears that screamed with a million voices. His angel was there, the last thing he could see as the color slowly drained from his vision. Gabriel was speaking, shouting something but Sam couldn’t…couldn’t. For a second there was the faint shadow of wings.

The angel was clenching his hands into fists and they were shaking. For some reason that seemed important. There was red there. Gabriel had broken through the skin of his palms and red drops were falling onto the carpet shining with a strange pearlescence.

Blood. Angel blood, like demon blood.

It hit Sam again, this time with an old craving, the drug that he’d been addicted to since he was six months old. The memory of power and strength and confidence rippled through him. It should have been the final blow. It should have been what broke him, but where he would never be able to fight against all he had lost or all he wanted but would never be allowed to have, he could fight this. Hell, he had practice.

“SAM! Sammy, don’t you do this to me. Let go! You hear me? Stop trying to hold it in you oversized lummox. Sam.” He heard Gabriel and knew he was shouting even if it was too distant.

Sam gasped and let out a tangled sob. He didn’t know exactly what Gabriel meant but he knew he could trust him, somehow he knew that much. Sam closed his eyes and tried to let go.

His awareness, trapped and overwhelming, seeped out of him. The volume of his senses slowly pulled back from eleven, and after a moment he could almost see the room again.

Gabriel was crouched at the edge of his circle, leaning forward and still talking alternately encouraging Sam and finding new ways to twist his name. Sam shifted and realized that at some point he had collapsed and curled in on himself.

Then his awareness reached where Gabriel was sitting and he was flooded with a whole new wave of sensations. Sensations from Gabriel.

The angel was on edge, frightened for Sam and generally wound tight as a spring. There was a ball of flickering light in his chest and a cloak of want around him. Sam slowly let his new awareness spread. It was like the core of him was still untouchable stone. White marble that was beautiful but infinitely cold and distant. Famine's ring couldn’t touch that part of him, but Gabriel was wearing the trickster persona like an old coat, and the trickster was intimately familiar with desire.

That part of Gabriel wanted to set the world on fire and watch it burn. He wanted to punish the unworthy slobs his brothers called mud monkeys. Wanted to stop them from trampling over everything about this world that he loved, abusing the free will that had been gifted to them. He wanted the taste of sugar on his lips and the feel of rain on his skin. He wanted some regretful past that that was gone along with his family.

Sam felt the ache of loneliness there and didn’t have to ask why. Sam knew that feeling as intimately as Gabriel did.

Then, slowly building from beneath all the other wants was the pulse of arousal. Sam’s eyes couldn’t look away from Gabriel. His angel licked his lips but he apparently had far more control then Sam did, because all he did was watch Sam back. His eyes were glowing again, but the normally golden light was flecked with green.

Then something clicked. He could see Gabriel and himself side by side, and from that strange comparison he could see exactly how to fix it. He could see exactly how to fill in the holes and ease the want.

Or encourage it.

Oh to encourage it. It would be so easy. Just a little nudge to get the ball rolling, a few stones to start the rockslide. Because that was the easy way, to deal with it, the fast way. That was how it went with the little hungers.

If you were hungry you ate. If you wanted sex you fucked, even animals knew that much.

But no, that wouldn’t fill the larger holes. That was putting band-aids on bullet wounds. Deeper needs took more effort.

With that understanding the last of his hesitation broke. His mind expanded and suddenly he could feel the whole building the whole block, hell, maybe the whole city. The hungers of everyone around him blazed up like flairs, the deeper the need the brighter he saw them.

There were patterns laid over the city like the streets. Lust and Greed and Hunger, so much hunger, overwhelming and desperate and wrong. Sam had known it was a drug but seeing it like this was nauseating. The city should have been like a stew, full of spice and rich with different flavors, but Dick had come along and emptied a carton of salt into the mix, ruining the whole batch.

Sam growled at the memory, for once glad that Dick was dead and never mind what it had cost him. He knew somehow that he had climbed back to his feet, knew that he was still in that hotel room and that Gabriel was still carefully watching him, but His mind was gone. He stretched out over the city and started to set things right.

The need of the population had been twisted, it was the problem, but it was also the solution. Sam pulled at the instincts of the entire city of Chicago and flooded the system, flushing the poison out.

  


Down on the streets, someone yelled, throwing a brick through a window. A taxi driver climbed into the back seat to pull off the pants of the college student who had asked him to take her the airport. A drug dealer pulled out his gun as he was mobbed by three of his former clients. Behind the counter of the biggersons a block away, the teller gave up trying to defend her counter in favor of emptying the till into her purse.

 

The city went mad.      

  


***

  


Gabriel watched Sam collapse and curl into himself, and forced himself to wait. If he crossed the circle he would be helpless against the ring’s power. Unless of course he wanted to just give in and choose a side.  No, if Famine got hold of him, he knew what he would go after. He would never forgive himself if he ever did anything to Sam.

Instead, he ranted at Sam from outside the circle, and felt it when the power touched him. Gabriel tried to throw up shields, squeezing his hands into fists, and pulling together the scraps of his power. He cursed and ranted and screamed, trying to break through to the hunter. Sam was pulling at him, twisting everything he was, pulling at the trickster and trying to blind the angel. Gabriel tried to pull back but the ring had him.

Sam could see him.

Then Sam was standing and turning his attention away, towards the city. Gabriel was able to take a breath, and pull himself together. He glanced up at the hunter, and stopped breathing.

Sam looked like he was high. His eyes were glazed over and his hands had spread out. He was going in too deep, and the city was paying for it.  One glance out the window could tell him that. Sam should have been pulling the influence in, dispersing it, not flooding the city. And yes maybe it would do the job but only if handled properly and Sam could very well be lost in the process.

“Sammish. Pull back, oh hell. Sam!”

His eyes focused briefly, glancing down at him. Sam hesitated. The effects were cascading now. In less than half an hour the city would be gone, overtaken by madness, over the precipice.

“Sam please, let go, come back.”

Sam let his head fall to one side. “You want--”

“I want you to come back to me.”

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel hovered on the edge of the circle.  He held out his bloody hands, gesturing at the ring. “Take it off. Please just take off the ring.” Sam looked down at his hand. His eyes were dilated, and he grinned.

“Oh, why?”

“Sam, concentrate here. You’re done. One way or another, the city is going to be rid of this thing.”

Sam shifted forward and looked down at him. “You’re fighting it.”

“Damn straight, Sasquatch. I’m trying to be the smart one in the rabid zombie apocalypse movie you’ve just kicked off.”

Sam laughed, and Gabriel’s throat closed. That would have been such a good sound, before this tremendously bad idea.

Outside in the hall something crashed and screeched. The noise from the street outside increased in volume as someone plowed a car into the side of the building. Gabriel spared a moment to be grateful that they had barricaded the door, even if no one should be up on their floor.

Sam was still smiling. “I just helped them let go.”

“That’s not you talking, Sam.”

Sam finally looked at Gabriel, really looked, his eyes focusing on the angel. His head fell to one side again. “Why are you blocking me?” His expression turned hurt, desperate, but still with that edge of hunger.

Normally Sam was as cute as one of those big floppy golden retrievers, but with that expression he now looked like a dog that’d been kicked and didn’t know why. Gabriel shook his head, no.

“Gabriel.”

“I don’t want to shut you out, Sam. I want you back; but I want my Sam.”

My Sam. The words were important for some reason. Gabriel saw Sam shudder, and the hunter took a half step forward. Gabriel was already at the edge of the circle, but even so he swayed on his feet.

“Please, come back.”

“I’m right here.” Sam yelled, and it was a shock. “I’m right here and you’re pushing me away.

Gabriel shook his head again, no, no no. The angel let his head fall forward and found himself looking at the curve of the circle drawn between them.

“Just take off the ring. Come to me.”

For a moment Sam seemed to waver, and then something sparked in his eyes. The power around them writhed, twisting around the hunter. Gabriel could feel it pushing at Sam because for all his strengths that was Sam’s major weakness. Gabriel knew it but he was pushing anyway. He could feel Sam being pulled under again, the energy becoming wilder.

Sam’s phone rang.

His cell was sitting on top of his bag, where he had tossed it on the couch when they’d first come in. The chorus of life on mars sang through the room, went silent for a moment, then started to repeat.

Sam took a step towards it, and for the first time since they’d started, he actually looked like himself. He took another step, and Gabriel snapped his fingers before he could second guess himself. A red and white tollbooth appeared in front of Sam, the bar falling into place between him and the phone. It took more effort than Gabriel liked to create the thing and keep his shields up at the same time, but Sam had reacted to the whimsical in the past. Sam rolled his eyes and gave Gabriel one of his famous looks.

Gabriel just grinned back. “No rings outside the circle, Sammich.” From his tone he might have been telling Sam to take his feet off the coffee table or pick up the laundry he’d left on the floor. The ring came off his finger and Gabriel was too busy being relieved to notice if Sam was giving him any more looks.

The ring went on the side table, as Sam picked up his phone. He caught it just before it went to voicemail.

Internally Gabriel let himself sag, his shields fading. He was done, d-o-n-e done, officially out of power. If he didn’t replenish some of his reserves he’d be human in less than a week. Well, he’d made his choices, maybe Sam would let him tag along with him until he got his feet under him. Gabriel felt too drained to even work up a good pout.

“Hello?” there was something in the hunter’s voice, something that hadn’t been there before. It was raw, but the kind of raw that came after the tears not before. “Kevin? Slow down a second, what did you do? Okay, yeah, umm. We’re in Chicago.” his face fell. “No, not Dean. Me and Gabriel. Yeah, long story.” Sam paused and looked at Gabriel before getting pulled back to the phone. “What? No I don’t think that’s the best idea, the city is kind of, well, you’ll see. We’ll come to you. Yeah, you hold tight until we get there.” He waited another minute then looked down at the phone and huffed out a breath.

Gabriel waited for Sam to pull himself together. The name Kevin was familiar and Sam had mentioned that he knew the current prophet.

“That was Kevin, he said he got away from Crowley. He’s hidden the demon tablet and is going to meet up with us.”

Gabriel nodded, and yes here comes the awkward silence, right on schedule. There was another thumping crash from down the hall, this time accompanied by a gasping moan.

“Guess we aren’t the only ones enjoying our honeymoon.” The joke came out flatter than it should have and the angel held back a wince. Sam wasn’t so controlled. He looked down at the circle still set up in the middle of the room.

“How long will it last? I mean, will what I did fade away or…” Sam’s voice trailed off, like he was at loose ends.

“Sunrise, a new day will break old patterns, old spells.”

“I just wanted-- I was trying to flush everything out of the system.”

Gabriel held up a hand. “I know Sasquatch, I was watching.”

He hesitated, not meeting the angel’s eyes. “Will they,” he stopped, took a breath, “Be alright? Is there, can we stop it?”

Gabriel turned to look out the window. Smoke was already rising from at least one fire. The streets below were chaos. He shook his head. “I don’t like it any better than you do but, I think this is a needs of the many thing. A few words in the right places, I mean after this mess people will be looking for someone to blame. We spread the word that it’s in the food. It’s not exactly the smoothest solution but it should get the stuff off the shelves.”

Sam nodded, the guilt was pouring off him in waves. Gabriel had been expecting something to go wrong, but not quite like this. He understood how the hunter was feeling, but he wasn’t about to let Sam hoard all the guilt.

“People aren’t just going to ignore this Gabe.” Sam’s voice stumbled, breaking over the words. “People are dying out there.”

“Naw, we’ll totally be able to spin this. People don’t want to acknowledge that there are things in the dark. Believe it or not this kind of thing has happened before.”

Sam shook his head so Gabriel started ticking them off on his fingers. “Great fire of London, actually a rogue ifrit. At least two of the San Francisco earthquakes were the result of failed summonings, well, one of them failed, the other just made the thing crazy. Mt Saint Helens has blown its top so many times because it’s actually a fire giant buried under there, not a volcano. Normally the Men of Letters or someone else in the know starts spreading a perfectly reasonable explanation and people just roll with it.”

Sam didn’t look convinced but he also hesitated so maybe he didn’t really want to fight. “Men of Letters?” He asked at last.

“Yeah, secret society, been around forever, founded by Michaels line. Your dad should have been a member. You really don’t know about it?” Sam shook his head and Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Of course not, well to sum up, you’re a lot more like your dads side of the family then Dean is. Frankly I think my brothers jumped the gun on going with the older brother younger brother trope. The world would probably have ended already if Lucy had gone after dark and protective Dean rather than your handsome self.”

Gabriel let the words trail off. Really he was just stalling, and while he could yammer on about nothing for hours he knew Sam was on the edge of something.

It took four awkward minutes of silence before the Sasquatch broke and sent his voice into the silence. “I’m sorry, I got to you, I didn’t mean to I just, fuck.”

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

Gabriel took a step forward and caught Sam’s hand. “I’m not exactly helpless here Sammich. I put up shields. You may have been able to read me but if you had really gotten to me I’d be going as crazy as everyone out there.” He nodded toward the window.

Sam met his eyes for a moment, and then looked down at their hands. “You’re alone, and you wanted me.”

“No past tense about it kiddo.”

“Then why--”

Gabriel snorted. “And you’re supposed to be the smart one. Sam if I wanted to I could wrap you around my fingers and play you like a puppet on a string. I’ve done it before. Not to mention that you lost your brother a week ago, and there’s no way you can be over that yet. I’m not going to take advantage of you. Your virtue is safe, I promise.” Gabriel let the lie about his power roll off his tongue, hiding it behind the truth. They hadn’t called him silver-tongued for nothing.

He dropped Sam’s hand and turned away, walking back towards the window so Sam wouldn’t see his expression. He had enough time to regret it even though he wouldn’t do it differently before Sam’s arms wrapped around him from behind.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore, and I don’t think you do either.” Sam’s head was resting on top of his own, and Gabriel let his hands come up to rest over Sam’s.

Sam waited for another minute, not letting go before he braced himself, taking a deep breath. He kissed Gabriel’s hair. “I want you. There’s no way I could deny it after tonight, even if I wanted to. So it wouldn’t really be taking advantage, and well I, I don’t think we’re going anywhere until morning, and the room is all paid for.”

Gabriel fought every urge that flooded through him and took a deep breath. “Just to be clear here, are you offering to drag me into the bedroom and ravish me?”

A low growl came from behind him and a new pressure started at his back.

Sam’s voice when he spoke was an octave lower than normal, but remained steady.

“Yes?”

Gabriel wanted to turn in Sam’s strong arms and claim his mouth. Kiss him senseless, tear open those pants and get off rubbing against Sam’s leg.  Instead he took a deep breath as he turned and brought his hands up to cradle Sam’s face.

“It can’t be a question Sam.”

The hunter met his eyes for one last long moment before putting those strong arms to use. He picked Gabriel up and with several long strides they were in the bedroom and that enormous bed was right there. Sam tossed Gabriel down on his back. Gabriel looked up at the hunter and let his legs fall open.

                                    

To hell with it, he’d never been very good at denying himself something that was right in front of him. Sam started on the buttons of his shirts and the angel couldn’t help but lick his lips. Sam was already visibly getting hard and Gabriel was right there with him. Sam attacked his belt next but was quickly distracted by Gabriel’s hands as he sat up to explore the miles of tanned skin that were open to him. A shudder ran through Sam and suddenly there were lips and they were kissing. A real kiss, not that brief touch that Gabriel had allowed himself earlier.

Sam’s kiss was confident, controlled in the same way that he was always controlled, always holding himself back. It drove Gabriel mad. Why on earth did either of them still have pants on? He raised a hand to snap his fingers, old habits. But Sam caught his wrist and pinned it to the bed.

“No magic.” Sam’s voice wasn’t quite a growl, but it certainly wasn’t anything more civilized.

Because he still hadn’t told Sam that he was effectively powerless. Gabriel opened his mouth, meaning to tell him but his breath caught, slipping into a moan as he arched against the bed.

With his other hand Sam started tugging at Gabriel’s shirt, drawing it up by slow inches to bare a strip of skin.

“Sam,” he stretched the name out to two syllables. “Come on, want to feel you.”

Sam’s hand slid up under the shirt which Gabriel was for some reason still wearing and slipped it over his head, leaving the angel’s hair a tousled mess and his arms caught in the fabric. Gabriel tried to twist out of it but again Sam held him in place. Sam was looking at him with a touch of disbelief painted over desire, as if he couldn't believe this was happening and wanted to savor it while he could.

“Sambo, I realize that I'm a handsome man and you have every right to want to stare but if we could perhaps speed things up a notch? I mean admiring my gorgeous self is one thing but this fucking teasing is just not fa--” Gabriel arched up into the sudden kiss. He hummed happily when Sam took advantage of his open mouth to slip his tongue across his pallet. When Sam finally pulled away to bite at his jaw Gabriel was left breathless, panting out little gasps, and completely uncaring about the fact that he could no longer form complete sentences.

Sam ran his hands down Gabriel's bared chest. He was still marveling at the fact that he was allowed to touch, that Gabriel was here under him and wanted everything Sam was willing to give. His hands reached the edge of Gabriel's belt and followed it around to the small of his back. He lifted the angel's hips, shifting him up the bed.

Gabriel took the hint. He tossed his shirt aside and leaned back against the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. A wicked grin spread over his features as he brought his knees up, fingers tracing up the line of his inseam before squeezing the bulge in his jeans. Gabriel let himself rock up into his own touch, his eyes slipping nearly closed. He moaned, spreading his legs wider. His next breath of air had Gabriel licking his lips, biting at his lower lip. He peeked through his eyelashes at Sam's reaction and nearly lost it.

Sam was up on his knees, one hand on his open jeans, but Gabriel's display had clearly distracted him. His mouth was open and he was panting as if they were a lot farther along than they were. His eyes were wide and dark, drinking in the sight beneath him.

“Take them off.” This time there was no doubt. Sam's voice was a growl.

Gabriel's hips rocked up completely on their own. He fumbled with his button and yanked down his zipper, before Sam got impatient grabbed his pants at the ankles and pulled. Gabriel shed his boxers with another kick and if he hadn't already been rock hard he certainly was now.

Sam finally got rid of his own pants and leaned in. Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's neck, his hands in Sam's hair. Sam tasted the skin at Gabriel's collar bone. His hips rolled, painting lines of precome on Gabriel's inner thigh.

“Sam, Sam please.” Gabriel rolled his hips up, rubbing against the hunter's stomach.

Sam surged up, biting at the angel's mouth until they were both gasping. “Say it again.”

Gabriel's eyes were unfocused from the sudden kiss. “What?”

“My name. None of those stupid nicknames.”

Gabriel met his eyes and shivered. “Sam.”

The hunter kissed him again, one hand slipping between them to grip Gabriel's dick running his thumb over the head. Sam pulled back enough to say “I want to fuck you.” gasping the words out against Gabriel's jaw.

“Yes, please yes, Sam.”

And that was apparently the final push Sam needed to go right over the edge. His control vanished.

Sam sat up, one hand still on Gabriel's cock as the other forced the angels leg's open, sliding back to rub at his ass.

“Lube.” he growled

At that moment Gabriel didn't care if it was the last drop of magic he had. If this didn't count as an emergency, nothing did. He snapped his fingers, lube and half a dozen cherry flavored condoms appeared on the bed. Sam growled again, but there was a note of amusement under it. Sam backed off enough to roll on a condom and slick up several fingers, granting Gabriel enough time to gasp in a breath.

The first touch was light, careful and it made Gabriel want to roll his eyes. “Sam, not some blushing virgin down here. Fuck me already.”

Sam bit down on Gabriel’s thigh and shoved one slick finger inside him. Fire and lightning and fuck that was good, so good. Gabriel was making sounds that weren’t human, keening and moaning, his head thrown back. His hands were tangled in Sam’s hair as the hunter’s mouth explored. Then there was a second finger, and Gabriel had always loved those hands, those hands were amazing, and the way they were spreading him open was surpassing every one of his half formed fantasies.

Sam sat up, looking down at the angel laid out for him. He’d left more than a few marks on Gabriel’s neck, hips, thighs. At this point Sam wasn’t bothering to think about what any of this would mean in the morning. Gabriel's cock was red, pulsing under his hand, and leaking over his fingers. Maybe it was some residual effect of the ring but he was done holding himself back from what he wanted. He twisted his wrist, stretching the ring of Gabriel’s ass until he could have easily slid in a third finger, then pushing them in deep and searching.

Gabriel arched up, his hands fighting with the sheets as he gasped out. “Yes, Sam. yes, do that again, please.”

Sam gave Gabriel’s cock a hard stroke, then pulled back enough to shift Gabriel’s legs up onto his shoulders. He lined himself up pulled and out his fingers, triggering a moan from Gabriel, then thrust in.

Gabriel’s breath caught and a shudder went through him. Then he clenched his legs pulling Sam in. Sam’s eyes were half-lidded, and his smile was somewhere between satisfaction and too good to think. He bent forward far enough to kiss Gabriel, letting the angel tangle his fingers in his hair. He shifted enough to pull out slightly, then rocked back in.

Gabriel gave up on words. He was so full and Sam had managed to find an absolutely amazing angle. With every moan he let slip past his lips, Sam’s thrusts came harder and faster. Gabriel had had a lot of sex, with a lot of different partners, but none that he could remember had taken control like Sam did, or watched his every reaction as if the secrets of the universe were being revealed.

There was no way either of them was going to last. They’d been circling each other too long.

Gabriel untangled one hand from Sam’s hair to squeeze the base of his dick, trying to hold on as the hunter relentlessly targeted his prostate. Then Sam’s hands came up from his hip, to cover his own and Sam was pushing him forward rather than holding him back.

“Show me.” Sam growled and his hand stroked even while his hips never lost the rhythm, like a machine. Gabriel gasped, couldn’t seem to get a breath, and then he looked up.

It was Sam’s eyes that pushed him over the edge. They were blown black and with night fallen on the city and the room the color has leached out of them. They shone. Sam wasn’t looking at the trickster or the Archangel, just at him, waiting for him to let go and give everything, falling over the edge.

Well, when had Gabriel ever been able to say no to Sam.

He came with his mouth open and Sam’s name on his lips, every muscle in his body going taught as Sam worked him over. He took everything Gabriel had ever offered and held it in the light of that glorious soul that had been touched by demons and angels alike then gave everything back. It was old magic, from before there was a real distinction between Pagan and Christian. It was the same power that could forge a new soul. Gabriel really should have remembered it but he’d never been big on the whole virgin tied to an alter thing. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation. 

He wrapped the power that Sam offered within himself. Slowly fed it to the flickering fire of his grace and let the new light warm them both, sending him over then edge.

 

Sam let out a strangled “Fuck Gabriel.” as Gabriel clenched around him. He gave up on any real rhythm, and came deep inside Gabriel as the angel went lax slumping boneless and panting.

Sam lay panting on top of him for a few minutes before lifting himself enough to pull out and toss aside the condom. He rolled onto his back and Gabriel wormed his way under Sam’s arm, snuggling into Sam’s side. The hunter tried to speak once but Gabriel pressed first a finger, then his lips to Sam’s mouth. They fell asleep curled together.

  


***

  


The next morning it turned out they couldn’t leave. The National Guard and the CDC had been called in and quarantined the city. Gabriel spent twenty minutes on Sam’s laptop and declared the situation handled.

Sam wanted to call bullshit when Gabriel said he had minions pulling strings, but there was enough doubt that he let it slide.

The city was a mess. The streets were a wreck, broken glass everywhere and accidents on every corner, and that was just what Sam could see from the hotel windows. Gabriel hadn’t let him leave, not even to go down to the car. Sam didn’t have the heart to fight him on it. He was already blaming himself enough without the damage and the deaths staring him in the face.

Gabriel spent half the morning trying to come up with a way to tell Sam about what had happen with his power, but Sam kept making the ‘this is all my fault’ face. Gabriel was determined to distract him whenever that face appeared. It didn’t take long for Gabriel to decide making out was his preferred distraction method. It had the unintended side effect of distracting him as well. And if it helped boost his power levels a bit as well, well he certainly wasn’t complaining.

  


***

  


It was a week before they met up with Kevin.

  


Sam parked the impala in front of the Oklahoma City greyhound terminal, carefully observing his surroundings for signs of demon activity. Gabriel took a brief glance then shook his head, letting Sam relax. They slowly swept through the station. The Angel confirmed that there were no demons, but they didn’t find Kevin either, at least until they returned to the impala. He had his bag propped up on the trunk of the car and was sipping from a bottle of water while glancing around.

As soon as Sam was close enough Kevin tossed the contents of the bottle on him and Gabriel.

“Holy water?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, had to be sure.” Kevin shrugged but he was smiling now, his shoulders already less hunched then they had been.

Gabriel took another look around then shook his head, his own shoulders drooping a bit. “So you’re the current prophet. I want to apologize on behalf of my family. You’re supposed to have an honor guard and from what I’ve heard not only did they screw that up royally, but they were dicks about it. I’d like to say that we’re not all dicks but really it’s just me, Cas and a handful of others who are really worth it.”

Kevin took a half step back, running into the car. His hand went back to grab his bag. “You’re an angel?”

“Archangel actually, And pagan trickster god. I got tired of all the fighting and decided to vamoose when the family had the big toss up. Name’s Gabriel.” He stuck out his hand.

Sam smiled. “It’s okay, he may be a little weird, but he’s definitely a friend.”

“Weird?!”

Sam ignored the outburst, turning to unlock the trunk so Kevin could toss his bag in the back. It wasn’t quite the family he was used to, Sam reflected as they hit the highway. But with Kevin asleep across the back seat and Gabriel doing crosswords beside him, Sam could settle in behind the wheel and let the miles pass, like old times. It wasn’t a happily ever after. They still had the dregs of Dick’s organization to clean up, not to mention all the other things that went bump in the night. It still hurt every time he thought of Dean. But his feet were under him now, and Gabriel was there to prop him back up if he stumbled. Things would be alright.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So, when i originally plotted this out there was a whole other section to the story where they drove around with Kevin. Squeal? Would People Be interested in something like that?


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